Question Summary:
Is engagement permissible in Islām? If yes, what are the practices that you are able to do while engaged?

Question Detail:

Is engagement permissible in Islām?  If yes, what are the practices that you are able to do while engaged?

Answer :

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false
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false

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As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
 
An engagement is a commitment to marry in the future.  Since it is not the actual nikāh, the engaged boy and girl are still non-mahram to each other.  The laws of interaction between them are the same as those between two complete strangers of the opposite gender (non-mahrams).
 
Even though such a commitment and promise to marry in the future is permissible, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم advised against the delaying of marriage. 
 
حدثنا قتيبة قال حدثنا عبد الله بن وهب عن سعيد بن عبد الله الجهني عن محمد بن عمر بن علي بن أبي طالب عن أبيه عن علي بن أبي طالب : أن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال له يا علي ثلاث لا تؤخرها الصلاة إذا آنت والجنازة إذا حضرت والأيم إذا وجدت لها كفؤا (سنن الترمذي، أبواب الصلاة، الوقت الأول من الفضل: 1/320؛ إحياء التراث)
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “O ‘Alī, do not delay three [matters]: the prayer when its times enters, [the prayer on] the janāzah when it arrives, and [the marriage of a] single woman when an appropriate match is found (Tirmidhī)
 
Nowadays, we commonly find parents getting their children engaged, but unnecessarily delaying the marriage due to the child’s education, employment, etc.  However, the children desire to marry and, hence, speak to each other over the phone, meet in person, or engage in other such impermissible interactions.  Not only will they be involved in sin, but the parents will share in the sin, as well, due to their being a cause in such preventable harām acts between the engaged parties.  Although the parents have noble intentions in delaying their children’s marriage, their primary concern should be make sure that the children refrain from harām.
 
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ (التحريم: 6)
O you who believe!  Protect yourselves and your family from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, [and] over which are angels stern [and] severe.  They do not disobey the commands of Allāh and carry out what they are commanded (Qur’ān 66:6)
 
Hence, even though an engagement is permissible, one should realize that the rules of nikāh will not apply on the engaged parties and avoid unnecessarily delaying the nikāh.
 
 
And Allāh knows best.
 
Muftī Abrar Mirza
Chicago, IL (USA)
 
Under the Supervision of Muftī Ebrahim Desai (South Africa)