Question Summary:
What is the ruling for a father that drinks, smokes, doesn’t pray, openly rejects the things which is made haram and things which is made halal

Question Detail:

What is the ruling for a father that drinks, smokes, doesnt pray, and openly rejects the things which is made haram and things which is made halal always questioning the quran and twisting hadiths to his own desires. I would like to get married but my father refuses as he wants me to have a big career.
I wish to be a teacher as this will allow me to work in a halal environment and i am studying but i also wish to undertake islamic studies after my academic studies. Also he has refused a compatible suitor who is like myself practising and a well respected family. My father doesnt respect my wishes of having a segregated wedding with no haram music. He is not happy that i wear abaya, i contemplated wearing the niqab but i fear too much that i will be physically stopped. He thinks this is extreme.
My fear is that i will never be able to fulfill my islamic education or find a good practising brother of my liking who my father would approve, i feel that due to the fitna of the society im living that marriage is necessary. I have asked him for 2years now but he is still ignoring me giving vague replies which he is known to never follow through by his word. He has made it clear he does not like religious people or people that have beards.
Do i respect my fathers wishes or do i take things into my own hands? Other family members are not supportive either of me marrying. I am 20years old and my father believes i am still naive, immature and a teenager without experience and i am not realistic.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salamu’alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-baraktuh.
Sister in Islam,
Your zeal and enthusiasm to adhere to Shariah inspite of the odds from your father is encouraging. It is tawfeeq and guidance from Allah Ta’ala. We make dua that Allah Ta’ala grant you steadfastness and change the mindset of your father. Aameen.
There are two considerations in your query. The first is your obligation in Shariah to respect your father and the other to adhere to Shariah.
 Shariah emphasizes on respect to one’s parents. Allah Ta’ala states in the Quran,
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ
Translation: We have given mankind (emphatic) instructions concerning his/her parents (to treat them kindly and to make every effort to please them).  (Surah Luqman. Verse 14)
Consider the following verse as well,
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا (وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
Translation: Your Rabb has commanded that you worship only Him and that yu treat your parents kindly. If any one of the two or both of them reaches old age with you, then do not even tell them “Oof!” and do not rebuke them. Speak gently with them.
Lower for them the wings of humility out of compassion and say, “O my Rabb! Show mercy to them as they had (been merciful towards me when they) raised me when I was young.” (Surah Bani Israeel. Verse 23-24)
It is clear from the above verses that you have to respect your parents and be humble in front of them. However, Almighty Allah Ta’ala has a greater right over us. We cannot violate the rights of Allah Ta’ala to please our parents. The principle of Shariah is  [i]لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق (There is no scope for obedience to mankind when it results in disobedience to Allah Ta’ala)
You are an adult and you are independently obliged to adhere and follow the rules of Shariah. As an adult female, you have to don the hijab. You have to obey the laws of segregation of genders. It is obvious that in implementing Shariah you will have to make sacrifices especially in view of the mindset of your father. For that, you have to be patient and make lots of sabr.
Be firm on Shariah and at the same time show utmost respect to your father. Make lots of dua to Allah Ta’ala to keep you strong and also to change the mindset of your father.
If your father does not agree to the fact that you are ready for marriage then have someone else speak on your behalf, an elder sibling, close relative or a local Aalim. May Allah Ta’ala make it easy for you to get through to your father and other family members as well. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best.
 
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
U.S.A
 
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.