Question Summary:
Taking an oath of doing something to Allah’s face.

Question Detail:

 
If a person says something about Allah which can not come on mouth, for her islah. E.G she tries to leave haram acts or wants to stick to obligations like Namaz. she promises Allah or tells to herself; If I did it again or if I leave this particular obligation again, (like I leave only one Fardh salah it would mean as if I did (Naudubillah) some disrespectful deed in regard to God. she mentions Allah's Face. {I cant write here as I am scared of, but she said; It would mean as if she did something wrong on (NAUDUBILLAH) Allah's face.
 
It came in her mind later, how will she stick to THIS PROMISE the rest of life? why she even uttered such big words? this thing will make the life troubled and will torture her. With this thinking she left an obligation (salah) again to break the promise and ties. she talked to Allah she will worship HIM for His sake not with some promise. Is that girl an Apostate? after having KEEPING and then BREAKING that CONDITION. can she come back to Islam? or she is Murtad ?
Can she do Toubah or she committed such a deed that there is NO Toba for her?

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The thought of doing something wrong to Allah due to you committing some wrong and sinful act is an expression of your desperation to make your Islah and your frustration for not being successful. Your initial intention to reform yourself is noble. However, your incorrect method of reforming yourself has led you to disrespectful thoughts about Allah. At the outset, it is important to understand that that no one can harm Allah and it is incorrect to perceive Allah as having a physical face.
It is advisable to seek the help of an ‘Ālim or Shaykh, e.tc. and take assistance from them in changing and reforming yourself.
However, you should make abundant Tawba and Istighfār for taking such an oath. Allah’s doors of mercy and forgiveness are open for you. Allah forgives every sin apart from Shirk (polytheism).
Further, it is necessary for one who takes such an oath and then breaks it to expiate it (give Kaffārah).[1] The Kaffārah for an affluent person is that he/she feeds ten people an average meal that one would feed his family, or he/she clothes ten people or he/she frees a slave (which is not generally applicable these days). As for one who is incapable of doing this due to financial constraints, then he/she should fast for three days.[2]
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Nabeel Valli
Student Darul Iftaa
Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net