Question Summary:
Struggles with a revert wife

Question Detail:

 
Assalam O Alaykum Brother,
I married a revert girl and she promised me that she would follow islam accordingly after marriage. In the beginning she practiced as well the Islam but now after 3 years she has gone almost back into her previous life where she used to DRINK ALCOHOL and do SEX and do whatever she wanna do. 

Recently we decided that we would divorce as its hard for us to continue. But I still was giving a second thought and thinking may be in near future she would think again and we might be able to continue with this marriage.

But recently she visited her country (Italy) alone and there she had a lots of alcohol and had sex as well with her friend behind my back and she told me all this on return to me. She said I said that I told you we are done as husband and wife so I am free to do whatever I wanna do.

I decided with her in the recent past that we would seperate but I never said I give you divorce with firm intentions and I was giving this relation some final push to see whether it works OR not.
So now as she has crossed her limits and she is saying me that I do not consider you  my husband anymore and in my brain we are divorced, so what I do now. I never gave her divorced and still controlling myself. 
Please tell me has our divorce taken place as she is saying that she doesn't consider we are married anymore and she is saying I would do whatever I wanna do and you do whatever you wanna do. We still living in the same house in UK and I dont know what to do.
She has taken a proper decision and she is more than 100% sure she is not willing to continue.
Please suggest further what should I do now and are we still husband and wife as per ISLAMIC LAW? 
Jazak ALLAH.
 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We take note of your difficulties in your marriage. We commend you for your patience and tolerance. May Allah reward you and guide you to whatever is best for both of you. Aameen.
If both of you agree that you’ll cannot live as husband and wife, then you should follow the following injunction of Allah.
الطَّلَاقُ مَرَّتَانِ فَإِمْسَاكٌ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ
Divorce (after which a husband can take his wife back without contracting a new marriage) is (pronounced) twice (clearly) after which (the woman) is either retained in good faith (without harming her) or released (from marriage) in kindness.
(Surah Al-Baqarah, Aayah 229) 
You should issue her one talaaqe-baain (irrevocable divorce) and officially terminate your marriage with her. [i] She will have to spend her iddah (waiting period of three menses) and then she is free to re-marry. Once you divorce her, you’ll cannot live as husband and wife. You’ll also cannot live together after the iddah period.
 You should advise her to remain as a Muslim or take the assistance of a local scholar to advise her on Imaan and remaining as a Muslim.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
 
Muhammad IV Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.