Question Summary:
Steadfastness in Islam

Question Detail:

I am a new muslim and i am a boy i recently reverted to islam and i am secretely following it and facing many difficulties as i am secretely follwing my faith and hiding it , i have two question may allah reward the answerer as i am in soo need to get them answered but i have no one who can guide me , So My first Query is about timing for fajr for fasting , i founded out that there are various hub for finding out time for prayer like ISNA, muslim league and many others and they differ in fajr calculating angle and ultimately in timing of fajr as ramdan is approaching and iam secretely following islam , fasting is going to be a challenge for me now my question is i founded that ISNA provide time of 4:37 for fajr and MWL provides time of 4:21 AM and one providetime even late than ISNA so as in ramadan i will manage somehow to wake up early but i want to drink milk before starting my fast but if i follow MWL time i would not be able to drink anything even not water as i cannot wake up too early as i am secretely following islam , but if i will follow other hub time which give time for fajr late than i will be able to fast , Inshallah , so  can i follow the time from a hub which is far from my location like from france,given that i am from india , will it be permissible for me and if not than what will i do with fast of ramdan ?Now my Second Query is about VOW i made to allah , at first i become muslim i leaved evil ways and make promise to allah so many promises , i was unaware of seriousness of promises in islam now i forget many vow as i have witten down them on a paper but i lost that paper , i hardly remember few of them so what should i do with that ? and one more thing i have made some illogical vows like in past i do not know that some sunnah prayer are performed before fajr so i promised allah that "i will do fard salah with kushu if i do not attain kushu i will keep redoing it until i get kushu and i will not pray any optional prayer until i do fard with kushu " now i know that some sunnah are obliged to perform before fard so what i should do with that vow , another vow i made with allah is "i will not fear anything except allah " but fear is not in my control so what i should do about that , another one "if iw ill not be able to fast for a single day in RAMDAN i will fast for 40 days regularly as make up for that missed fast " at that time i do not realize the seriousness in islam about these things , but now i have come to know many things aboy deen and learning new things also so what should i do about such vow and there are too many more please tell me and i have breaken some of vow many times what i should if i can not fast for 3days regularly as fajr is too early , i can feed people just with a biscuit i have not enough to ffed them with proper food , i can not give them cloth as i am a child and i have no money what should i do please answer i am getting depressed day by day and felling that ALLAH hates me . 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We apologize for the belated reply. 

It gives us great pleasure to receive your question. We pray that Allah increase you and us in faith, practice and knowledge.

When faith (ايمان) finds a place in the heart, it establishes deep roots in it. Therefore, it only produces the best results and takes one to Jannah.

Allah states in the holly Quraan:

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ قَالُوا رَبُّنَا اللَّهُ ثُمَّ اسْتَقَامُوا فَلَا خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ (13) أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا جَزَاءً بِمَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ (14)

Translation: "Indeed those who say: Our Lord is Allaah, and then have istiqaamah (be upright and obedient) upon them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. Those will be the companions of Paradise, to dwell therein forever - a reward for what they used to do. [Soorah Ahqaaf 46:13]

We advise you to keep steadfast on Islam and try your most to make Salah, Zikr and recite Quran in secrecy as the recitation of Quran, Salah, Zikr draws the mercy of Allah and repel difficulties.

You may tell us where you are from. We will advise you about reliable scholars (Ulema) in your area. You may refer to them for specific guidance due to your circumstances.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mahomed Yasser Mahomed Yunus Hussen

Student Darul Iftaa
Mozambique

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.