Question Summary:
Solution to quit porn-addiction

Question Detail:

Asalam o alaikum, 

I am 30 old year married guy, and i am porn addicted. I have been facing this problem since i was in 9th or 10th standard in school. and since i got addicted i am doing this on daily basis. Every day before sleep or once in a day i need it very badly. 

I tried to stop this many times but i did not worked. I delete my porn collection from my laptop but after few days i cant resist and start downloading it again. I take shower(gusul) every time after watching porn, so that i can pray namaz, but cant continue namaz for long. 
I searched on internet how to stop this addiction and found that if you do a sin and you cant stop doing it again and again, then pray a nafil against it. because shaitan will not insist you to do that sin again if you are praying a nafil against it. I start praying nafil but again after few days i stopped prayinng nafil but not porn.
I thought that getting married is a solution, i will not feel lust if i do sex with my wife, but in a few days i got to know that my wife is not so interested in sex. because she is friendly with me so i told her that i watch porn, and she had no problem with that. she allowed me to watch porn because i would not ask her to do sex after masturbation. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We take note of the contents of your email. We are pleased to now that you admit your wrongdoing and are willing to change.

Consider the following harms of Pornography:

Ø  Effect on the Heart: Pornography affects people’s emotional lives. Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their marital sexual relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Women married to men with a pornography addiction report feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and anger. Pornographic use may lead to infidelity and even divorce. Adolescents who view pornography feel shame, diminished self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty.

Ø  Heavy exposure to pornography leads men to judge their mates as sexually less attractive,¹⁰⁾ resulting in less satisfaction with their affection, physical appearance, and sexual behavior

Ø  Pornography, as a visual (mis)representation of sexuality, distorts an individual’s concept of sexual relations by objectifying them, which, in turn, alters both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children, and to individual happiness. Effect on the Mind: Pornography significantly distorts attitudes and perceptions about the nature of sexual intercourse.

These are merely the harms it causes to ones Dunya. The harms it causes to one’s deen far outweighs this.

Quitting any addiction is difficult. It requires will power and restraint. Once someone makes up their mind to do/abstain from something, they will definitely achieve it.

Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:

و الذين جاهدوا فينا لنهدينهم سبلنا

Translation: “And those who strive to attain our pleasure; we shall definitely guide them to our paths”

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad

Student Darul Iftaa

Azaadville, JHB, South Africa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.