Question Summary:
Should I ask my husband about his intention ? Question Detail:
AssalamoAlaikum, My question is regarding asking the husband about his intentions regarding whether he intended any divorce or not by whatever he says. Long time back, my husband said about some girl to his mom while driving the car that ‘ that girl is so pretty.’ My mother in law said to my husband ‘would you had told me earlier i could have asked her hand for you’ ( something along these lines she said) My husband either said yeah or smiled or kept quiet. I am not quite sure of his exact response. Now i am person of wasawis and suddenly this old thing came to my mind. Now as a person of wasawis i am thinking whether i should ask him whether what was he exactly said that time and what was his intention that time whether he had any bad intention or not (regarding divorce) that time when his mum said that. Then i start thinking that he may not had bad intention and by asking i may either irritate him or put this thing into his mind. I have already asked him several times on other occasions even on generally said things about his intentions and he always responded that he never had any bad intentions. Now i am confused as to whether i should be asking him regarding his response that time when his mum said that about that girl and his intentions again or its just wasawis and shaitan is trying to trick me to ask him n to annoy him. Is my nikkah valid? Should i regard it as wasawis and dont ask his intentions? As i keep suspecting him in normal conversations as well. JazakAllah khair
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We sympathise with you in your predicament.
You state you had asked your husband regarding his intention on several occasions, and he replied in the negative. You do not have to ask your husband regarding his intention all the time. Your nikaah is valid.
Unfortunately, you are suffering from severe Waswasa. We advise you to seek medical assistance.
You should not ponder and build on these thoughts, as you will be aiding the Shaytaan in fulfilling his mission. Do not allow the whispers of Shaytaan to intimidate you.
Hereunder are some ways to combat the whisperings of Shaytaan:
رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ
Translation: O Allah! I seek your protection from the evil whisperings of the Shaytaan, and, O my Rabb, I seek Your protection that they (the Shaytaan) approach me (because they always approach with evil).’”
(Surah Al-Mu’minoon, Verses 97-98)
اَللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ وَسَاوِسَ قلبي خَشْيَتَكَ وذِكْرَكَ واجْعَلْ همتي وهَوَايَ فِيْمَا تُحِبُّ وتَرْضَى
Translation: “O Allah! Make Your fear and remembrance the obsession of my mind and divert my will and courage to the performance of deeds that please You.”
لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله
Translation: There is no power to neither do any good nor prevent any evil except in Allah
My beloved Ustaadh Hadhrat Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb Hafidhaullah advises:
When you are on a highway filled with smoke that obscures the road, you will not worry to remove the smoke. You will focus on the road and drive through the smoke. You will pay attention on the road and not at the smoke.
The wasaawis are like the smoke. Ignore the wasaawis and work through them even though your work might feel obscured. Do not get caught up with the tricks of Shaytaan.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Muhammad I.V Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
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