Question Summary:
Sexual fantasizing and it`s cure. Question Detail:
Please advice me and help me to solve the following problems.1. I have the problem of sexual fantasizing and i am not able to control it. Whenever i am alone or whenever i donot do any work suddenly filty thoughts about girls flood my mind and my wudhu breaks.How to solve this problem and how to prevent this problem in future. I cannot marry because i feel cannot bear such a huge responsibility.2. I used to watch porn 3-4 years back and alhamdullilah i got rid of this problem.Presently i got this problem and i am not able to stop myself.Please help me as i am unable to control myself.3. Tell me how to control myself and protect myself from shaytaan and his whisperings.4. How to remove the filty thoughts about girls from my mind
and
how to detoxify my mind and soul.5. How to become steadfast on deen and how to become steadfast on taqwa.6. Please tell me a way so that i hate doing sinful activities and gain the pleasure of allah.7. I don't want to give bayah to any shaikh because i fear if i become a mureed of some shaykh then i will do shaykh worship.8. I have the problem of nocturnal emissions and thin transparent liquid comes out of my front private part whenever i get filty thoughts or see girls. Please tell me some zikr so that my nafs becomes pure and i donot get filty thoughts.If you advice me some medical remedies i would be grateful to you.Jazakallahu khairaa and may allah reward you abudantly.
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother-In-Islam,
Your resentment for sins and the desire to reform yourself is tawfeeq and guidance from Allah. You have great potential in climbing the ladder of spirituality. This was ascertained through your determination to discard the filthy habit of pornography.
It is possible the thought of girls you experience are the effects of the pornography. Insha-Allah, as time passes by, those thoughts will fade away. Do not inculcate the evil thoughts. If you experience involuntary thoughts, do not entertain them. [1] Recite لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله and change the trait of your thought.
You stated you cannot get married because you cannot bear the responsibility. The purpose of Nikah is to safeguard one's chastity and attain peace and comfort through it. The sole motive of Nikah is to abstain from thinking about other women and fulfilling all your sexual desires with the woman you married. Take the first step towards Nikah and Allah Ta`ala will take care of the rest. [2]
By reviving the sunnahs at your house, it will lead you to a better life. Conduct Taleem at your house daily, read about the stories of the blessed Sahaba and our pious predecessors, stay around the company of the pious, attend Islamic lectures, benefit from the Ulama, etc. This will inculcate the love of Allah in your heart (which will lead to the pleasure of Allah) and it will instill taqwa within you.
In point seven, you stated you do not want to take bai`ah as it will lead you to worshipping your Shaykh. The fear of worshipping your Shaykh is certainly a whisper (waswasa) from Shaytaan. Shaytaan does not want you to take the pathway towards good. A Shaykh is a means to lead you to the right path and become a pious servant of Allah. He will help you with different mechanisms that will help you attain closeness to Allah Ta`ala. In fact, this might be the perfect decision for you. Your problems may be solved simply by being under a Shaykh`s spiritual guidance.
We also advise you to make a habit of fasting as this helps in controlling sexual desires.[3] Moreover, recite the following dua regularly:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ سَمْعِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ بَصَرِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ لِسَانِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ قَلْبِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ مَنِيِّي[4]
Transliteration: Allah humma innī a`ūzubika min sharri sam`ī wa min sharri basarī wa min sharri lisānī wa min sharri qalbī wa min sharri maniyyī
Translation: O Allah, I seek your refuge from the evils of my ears, and from the evils of my sight, and from the evils of my tongue, and from the evils of my heart, and from the evils of my semen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
AbdulMannan Nizami
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
[1] القلب يهوى ويتمنى، ويصدق ذلك الفرج ويكذبه [صحيح مسلم، كتاب القدر، باب قدر علي ابن آدم خطأ من الزنا، ج٤، ص٢٠٤٧، دار احياء التراث]
لا ينظر الرجل إلى عورة الرجل، ولا المرأة إلى عورة المرأة [صحيح مسلم، كتاب الحيض، باب تحريم النظر الي العورات، ج١، ص٢٦٦، دار احياء التراث]
[2] يا معشر الشباب، من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض للبصر، وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم، فإنه له وجاء [صحيح مسلم، كتاب النكاح، باب استحباب النكاح لمن تافت نفسه، ج٢، ص١٠٨٠، دار احياء التراث]
تزوجوا الودود الولود فإني مكاثر بكم الأمم [سنن ابي داود، كتاب النكاح، باب النهي عن تزويج من لم يلد من النساء، ج٢، ص٢٢٠، المكتبة العصرية]
النكاح من سنتي، فمن لم يعمل بسنتي فليس مني [سنن ابن ماجه، كتاب النكاح، باب ما جاء في فضل النكاح، ج١، ص٥٩٢، دار احياء الكتب العربية]
[3] فعليه بالصوم، فإنه له وجاء [صحيح مسلم، كتاب النكاح، باب استحباب النكاح لمن تافت نفسه، ج٢، ص١٠٨٠، دار احياء التراث]
[4] سنن ابي داؤد، كتاب الصلوة، باب في الاستعاذة، ج٢، ص٩٢، المكتبة العصرية
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