Question Summary: Questions pertaining to a secret Nikah Question Detail:
I am a 31 year old single Muslim woman and intend to marry a Muslim man. We both are ready for marriage. I have discussed this liking and intention with my mother and sisters. My mother wished to talk to his mother, however the guys father does not intend to think about his marriage. His mother wants the daughter to get married. the guys parents are not agreeing to his marriage needs and his intention to get married. Its been two years since this all is going on and by now we wish to get committed in Nikkah. If we wish to do Nikkah along witnesses and later on as time passes by perform another nikkah with consent of families: 1)Can Nikkah be recited again with this same man in front of families? 2) Would first nikkah be valid without disclosing to families?
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. Nikah is a lifelong decision that requires careful consideration and mashwarah (consultation). The institution of marriage is a huge step in life and must be considered thoroughly; there are many issues related to Nikah that must be acknowledged. It is generally greatly emphasized that one should get married with the consent of his/her parents, hence the idea of having a secret Nikah should absolutely be avoided as it goes against the spirit of Shar’iah. There are many couples that seem to believe that they may get married secretly and then once they obtain the consent of their parents they will get married “again”. However, the question one should ask oneself is, what guarantee is there of obtaining the consent of parents? If the parents are informed of the secret marriage, they will feel betrayed. The negative consequences of that is far-reaching. It is best that a senior member of your family approach his family and discuss the issue in a most kind and diplomatic manner. Duas and istikhara should not be neglected during this time. These two aspects should always play a role in any major decision in one’s life. And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best Fahad Abdul Wahab Student Darul Iftaa USA Checked and Approved by, Mufti Ebrahim Desai www.Daruliftaa.net
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