Question Summary:
My wife have hesitation in doing khidmath in house Question Detail:
Assalamu alaikum...
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected Brother in Islam
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Balancing stability in one’s marriage and domestic life depends on both spouses fulfilling their respective roles. For this reason Shariah has stipulated responsibilities for both genders according to their nature and temperament.
Accordingly, Shariah has made the husband/father responsible to go out of the house and earn income. Husbands have a greater responsibility of supporting their children and taking care of their wives needs. This role is not suitable for a wife/mother for various reasons.
A wife’s/mother’s responsibility is to take care of the household affairs, for example; cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of the children.
This is understood by the following hadith:
كلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته، والأمير راع، والرجل راع على أهل بيته، والمرأة راعية على بيت زوجها وولده، فكلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته] صحيح البخاري، كتاب النكاح، باب المرءة راعية، ج٢، ص٧٨٣، قديمی]
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family, the wife is a guardian and is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards."
If the spouses fulfil their respective roles, that will create balance, love and harmony in the house. If the roles of the spouses are completely changed and they start doing things against their natured temperament, that will create an imbalance in the house. It is therefore advisable for both spouses to diligently fulfil their roles in the family.
If your wife is unwilling to do her share of work, explain to her with love and care the need for her to fulfil her role. Use wisdom and diplomacy in addressing her and to motivate her.
Nevertheless, it is the great Sunnah of Rasulullah Sallahu Alayhi Wasallam to assist in household work. Consider the following:
Hadrath Aisha Radhiyallahu Anhu the beloved wife of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam was asked, “What did the Prophet of Allah used to do in his house?” She replied: “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” [1]
The word used in the hadith is Mihnah (مِهْنَة), one of the translations of Mihnah is serving. It means Rasullullah used to serve his family and do household chores.
If one serves his family with an intention of practicing upon the noble Sunnah of Rasulullah, he will be rewarded in this world and in the hereafter. This reward could be in the form of good health, barakah and intercession on the day of Qiyamah.
Furthermore, just as it is necessary and rewarding to look after the physical and monetary needs of one’s family it is even more important and rewarding to take care of their spiritual (ruhani) development. Consider the following narration:
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:
إذا مات الإنسان انقطع عنه عمله إلا من ثلاثة إلا من صدقة جارية أو علم ينتفع به أو ولد صالح يدعو له
When man dies, his actions come to an end except three, the rewards of which keep accruing even after his death, (they are) Sadaqa (charity) that have recurring benefits, knowledge from which people continue to benefit, pious children who offer du’a on behalf of their deceased parents”(Sahih Muslim, vol 2, pg 41, Kutub Khana Rasheediyya)
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Anas Sharieff Qasmi.
Student Darul Iftaa
Hyderabad, India.
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
________
[1]
مختصر صحيح الإمام البخاري (1/ 219)
كانَ يكُونُ في مِهْنةِ أهلهِ، تَعني في خِدمةِ أهلهِ، فإذا حضرَتِ الصلاةُ، (وفي روايةٍ: سمع الأَذانَ 6/ 193)، خرج إلى الصلاةِ.
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