Question Summary:
My parents do not want me to get married Question Detail:
Assalamualaikum. I am a guy from India planning to pursue my higher studies abroad inshaAllah. I am however afraid that I will fall into fitnah (women) when I go to the university. Hence I strongly wish to get married before going for my studies. Though I have not talked to my parents yet about the issue, keeping in mind about the customs in our place (a guy needs job and a decent amount of money (for walima and all) to get married), I don't know if they will allow. (Actually I did give them asmall hint before but they were angry at me for talking about marriage at this age).
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Muhtaram Brother,
Your intention to get married to save yourself from fitnah is noble.
However, there are many practical aspects to consider before getting married.
A married person will have to support his wife. If you travel abroad, and she accompanies you, you will have to bear travel costs and expenses.
These practical aspects of marriage must be considered before deciding to marry. If you are being supported by your parents, you will have to discuss your intention openly with them. Tell them of your fears. You are of age and you should present your feelings in a dignified way to them. It does not suffice to merely hint on the issue.
Whilst there are great merits in making duas, you should adopt correct and direct means to address your situation.
If for some reason you are unable to marry and face challenges regarding fitnah, you should fast.
Rasullullah (ﷺ) advised:
عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ
Translation: Abdullah Ibn Masood Radhiallahu Anhu reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to us:
0h young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford it, should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.
(Saheeh Al-Muslim, Kitaab Al-Nikaah)
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Muhammad I.V Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
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