Question Summary:
My mother wants me to marry my first cousin, but I fear our children being born with mental disability.

Question Detail:

 
I need a suggestion for marraige, my first cousin, khala ki larki, she is hafiza quran, recite quran everyday, my sister is married to her Brother and they have three kids and all of them are mentally disabled. my mother and sister like her and want me to consider her, Now what should I do? I already know this hadith "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so try to get one who is religious, may you be blessed." So the reason is my sister and girl's brother have one son and two daughters and all of them have mental disablity. Please write me as soon as possible.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
On the outset, it is important to understand that Shari'ah has given each individual the right to choose his partner and emphasized that there should be compatibility between the spouses[1]. Furthermore, Shari'ah has also encouraged one to select a spouse whose Islamic values are used as a core factor in making such a decision because marrying someone who does not hold her religious obligations will only result in the upbringing of children who will forego their religious duties as well.
 
Although consanguine marriages between first cousins are permitted as the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) himself was married to his first cousin Zaynab bint Jahsh (the daughter of the his paternal aunt)[2], the goal of Shari'ah is to establish a successful marriage that will build love and harmony between the spouses and secure a relationship based on affection and mutual understanding. While keeping the religious standard of your potential spouse in mind, it is also important that you feel content with this decision and do not have second thoughts about such a major decision in your life.
 
Genetic defects are also a factor to consider while choosing the mother of your future children.[3] If you feel uncomfortable in choosing your first cousin as your marital partner, you are at liberty to seek another partner. In doing so, we advise you to keep the following points in mind:
 
(1) Keeping the respect and honor of your parents in mind, you should inform them about your reason for disapproval and about your personal feelings regarding this matter.
 
(2) If your parents disagree, seek the assistance of a reputable elder or someone influential who may help you in advising your family about your decision.
 
(3) While choosing a spouse, you must always keep her Islamic morals and values in mind as the Holy Prophet (salalllahu alaihi wa sallam) has said:
«الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ، وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِ الدُّنْيَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ»
"The whole world is a provision, and the best provision of this world is a pious woman." [Sahih Muslim, 715, Chapter regarding the best provision of this world is a righteous woman ] 
 
(4) Perform istikharah and make du'a to seek the goodness from Allah Ta'ālā before making any major decision in life.
 
May Allah Ta'ālā grant you a happy life in this world and the hereafter. Ameen.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Bilal Mohammad
Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net