Question Summary:
My dad gets on my nerves!

Question Detail:

My dad really gets on my nevers and i hold my anger and respect him but when he goes overbored saying threats how do i control my anger?

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
 
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
 
It is a father’s responsibility to nurture his children. In doing so it is normal for children to get angry and upset due to their young age and mental immaturity.
 
However, Shariah place great emphasis on the obedience to parents.
 
Allah Ta’ala says:
قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
{Translation: Say, “Draw closer, I shall recite to you the things that your Rabb has forbidden for you. That you do not ascribe any partner to Him and that you be kind towards your parents.”}( Surah An’aam (6): 151)
 
Allah Ta’ala also says:
Your Rabb has commanded that you worship only Him and that you treat your parents kindly.[1]
 
In yet another hadith from Sahih Bukari Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam said “Allah Ta’ala loves that you honour your parents.”[2]
 
It is narrated that when the father of Jabir Radiallahu Anhu passed away he left seven or nine daughters. To care for his sisters on his father’s behalf Jabir married a mature woman. This is a sign of his obedience to his father that he was willing to forego his own happiness. Upon this Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam made dua for him.[3]
 
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam says that Allah has prohibited the disobedience to fathers.
 
14 - (593) حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي عُمَرَ، حَدَّثَنَا مَرْوَانُ بْنُ مُعَاوِيَةَ الْفَزَارِيُّ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سُوقَةَ، أَخْبَرَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ الثَّقَفِيُّ، عَنْ وَرَّادٍ، قَالَ: كَتَبَ الْمُغِيرَةُ إِلَى مُعَاوِيَةَ: سَلَامٌ عَلَيْكَ، أَمَّا بَعْدُ، فَإِنِّي سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، يَقُولُ: " إِنَّ اللهَ حَرَّمَ ثَلَاثًا، وَنَهَى عَنْ ثَلَاثٍ، حَرَّمَ عُقُوقَ الْوَالِدِ، وَوَأْدَ الْبَنَاتِ، وَلَا وَهَاتِ، وَنَهَى عَنْ ثَلَاثٍ: قِيلَ وَقَالَ، وَكَثْرَةِ السُّؤَالِ، وَإِضَاعَةِ الْمَالِ 
 
Translation: {Warrad reported that al-Mughira wrote to Mu'awiya: Peace be upon you, and then coming to the point (I should say) that I heard Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Verily Allah has Prohibited three things and has forbidden three things. He has declared absolutely haram the disobedience of father, burying of daughters alive, and withholding that which you have power to return, and has forbidden three things: irrelevant talk, persistent questioning, and wasting of wealth.}(Sahih Muslim Hadith #4260)
 
Abdullah Ibn Amr narrated that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam said that
 
“The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the father and the displeasure of Allah lies in the displeasure of the father.”[4]
 
If you do not understand your father, contain yourself and approach him with dignity and honour and express yourself with humbleness. A good and healthy dialogue will assist you in understanding issues that you did not previously understand and lead you to get angry.
 
We have highlighted for you a few instances where honouring parents is mentioned, so that you may reflect.
 
 
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
 
 
Mufti Saeed Ahmed Golaub
Jamaica
Student Darul Iftaa
 
Checked and Approved
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
daruliftaa.net