Question Summary:
My age is increasing, and I am really worried about my marriage, please, guide me how to proceed further?

Question Detail:

Assalamu alaikum, Respected Mufti Sahab, I have few doubts concerning marriage. I had asked marriage question previously. Please refer fatwa no. 40837 for better understanding. My parents and sisters are looking for a girl for me to get married. They saw a girl which was through a middle man (motasha). The girl is not very beautiful nor very ugly. She is 30 yrs of age as her parents say and I am 36 years of age but I am looking a little younger girl of 25 to 28 years of age. When asked why there was so late in her getting married they said due to studying. They showed me her photo which they captured in mobile . But I after seeing the photo did not like the girl as I felt she was not attractive and charming to me. My father also did not like the girl and my mother was also not very happy but one of my sister says she is ok not to ugly or bad. I told my parents and sisters that I do not want a very beautiful girl but a religious girl who is a little beautiful so that she is attractive to me. I personally feel that I have to live with her for the whole life day and night and  if  she is not charming or attractive or appealing to me then after marriage I might fall into haram relation with other girl who is beautiful.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We take note of your previous question. ^[1]

Brother, you mentioned that after seeing the girl, you and your parents did not like the girl in reference. You made Istikharah after seeing the girl. You also did mashwara in your decision-making procedure. You could not make a decision.

There is no need for you to get depressed if you decide not to get married to the girl in reference. You performed Istikhara and if you still have reservations, it was correct for you not to proceed.

We do not know why exactly you are unable to find a suitable spouse up till now. If you have adopted all possible and permissible means to get married, then you did what was within your means. Continue with that and leave the rest to Allah. You may adopt more means through family and friends to find a suitable spouse.

You may also read the article written by Mufti Faraz ibn Adam on how to find a suitable spouse.

In the meanwhile, make dua to Allah to guide you to whatever is best for you with a sincere heart and with the full assurance and adopt all possible means to find a suitable marriage partner. May Allah grant you a most compatible wife. Ameen.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Rabiul Islam

Student Darul Iftaa
Detroit, Michigan, USA 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

[1]  #40837