Question Summary:
Will Allah forgive me?

Question Detail:

I have been very confused with religion being first brought up in a Catholic family and I have always too liked to research other religions including older religions like Paganism and then I eventually came to Islam which very much interested me - I even dedicated myself to Islam by saying the Islamic prayer although because the miracles of the Qu'ran etc were so true to me although even though I did not have 'strong' enough faith and this led me a day later to drop off and continue again in Pagan religions that were offering happiness on this life and forgetting a judgement day as I did not believe in one.. although again Islam never left my mind and I researched the Prophet's lifestyle and the true messages of Islam which is to abstain from all evils and Allah definitely trying the best to protect all humanity from all evil such as selfish Occult magc that I did try in the past while I was interested in Paganism and continued this the day after I accepted Islam and dropped out.
 
As I say now I feel very terrible for me doing this for I definitely do feel the truth to Allah and the Qur'an as I keep comparing it to other religions and the Qur'an is always spot on, fixing up errors and knowing the minds and what is best for humanity and after listening to many lectures by Muslims across the internet I saw the beauty that the Prophet lived and any negative things the Christians continued to say about him and Islam were not true once placed into the light.
So yes I believe I did do shirk and am aware that Allah says he will not forgive this sin so does that mean I am doomed for taking on Pagan Gods, the same Pagan Gods that Allah warned to not become friends with in the Qur'an even though I really want to do the right thing in this lfie and I do feel the positive reality in the Qur'an as I read it but as I said am still fearful for what I have done.
 
Thank you very much for reading.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is indeed a great favor of Almighty Allah that He has enabled you to recognize and accept the truth. May Allāh Ta’ālā keep you steadfast and firm on Islām. Amīn.
Have conviction that Allāh Almighty is Most Merciful and Most Gracious. In fact, the Qurān commences with a declaration of Allāh being Most Gracious and Most Merciful. Hereunder is the verse:
 
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم  
In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful (Before opening chapter)
 
This verse appears 114 places in the Qurān. This is to assure mankind of Allāh being Most Forgiving and Most Compassionate.
Almighty Allāh extends His forgiveness to one and all. Allāh Almighty says in the Holy Qurān:
 
قُلْ يَاعِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ   (سورة الزمر، رقم الآية 53)
Say, “O My bondsmen who have transgressed their souls! Never lose hope of Allāh’s Mercy. Verily Allāh forgives all sins. Undoubtedly, He is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful.” (Qurān 39:53)
 
In this verse, Allāh Ta’alā makes a general announcement to everyone that He forgives all sins, whether major or minor. If any individual sincerely repents to Allāh Ta’ālā, then Allāh Ta’ālā will wipe out his evil deeds and purify his heart. Allāh Almighty says in another place in the Qurān:
 
وَإِنِّي لَغَفَّارٌ لِمَنْ تَابَ (سورة طه، رقم الآية 82)
I am most forgiving for the one who repents. (Qurān 20:82)
 
The Messenger of Allāh, Muhammad Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam (May Allāh’s Peace and Blessings be upon him) also comforted mankind by assuring them of the Kindness and Forgiveness of Allāh. Consider the following narrations of the Messenger of Allāh (May Allāh’s Peace and Blessings be upon him):
 
إِنَّ اللهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ يَبْسُطُ يَدَهُ بِاللَّيْلِ لِيَتُوبَ مُسِيءُ النَّهَارِ، وَيَبْسُطُ يَدَهُ بِالنَّهَارِ لِيَتُوبَ مُسِيءُ اللَّيْلِ، حَتَّى تَطْلُعَ الشَّمْسُ مِنْ مَغْرِبِهَا (صحيح مسلم،  بَابُ قَبُولِ التَّوْبَةِ مِنَ الذُّنُوبِ وَإِنْ تَكَرَّرَتِ الذُّنُوبُ وَالتَّوْبَةُ)
The Messenger of Allāh Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “Indeed Allāh Most Powerful and Most Magnificent spreads out His forgiveness at night for the sinners of the day to repent. He spreads out his forgiveness in the day time for the sinners of night to repent. This process continues so long as the sun does not rise from the West (Day of Judgment).” (Sahīh Muslim)
 
رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ: " قَالَ اللَّهُ تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى: يَا ابْنَ آدَمَ إِنَّكَ مَا دَعَوْتَنِي وَرَجَوْتَنِي غَفَرْتُ لَكَ عَلَى مَا كَانَ فِيكَ وَلَا أُبَالِي، يَا ابْنَ آدَمَ لَوْ بَلَغَتْ ذُنُوبُكَ عَنَانَ السَّمَاءِ ثُمَّ اسْتَغْفَرْتَنِي غَفَرْتُ لَكَ، وَلَا أُبَالِي    (سنن الترمذى، رقم الحديث 3540)
The Messenger of Allāh Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “Allāh said, “O son of Adam, if you beseech me and hope from me, I will forgive you in whatever condition you may be, and this does not matter to me. O son of Adam, even if your sins are so plenty that they reach the sky and then you seek my forgiveness, I will still forgive you. (Sunan al-Tirmidhi)
 
قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «لَلَّهُ أَفْرَحُ بِتَوْبَةِ أَحَدِكُمْ مِنْ أَحَدِكُمْ بِضَالَّتِهِ إِذَا وَجَدَهَا (سنن الترمذى، رقم الحديث 3538)
The Messenger of Allāh Sallallāhu Alaihi Wa Sallam said, “When one of you seeks the forgiveness of Allāh, Allāh becomes more overjoyed than one of you if he happened to find his lost belonging.” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi)
 
The verse that you have referred to in the query wherein Allāh Ta’ālā says He will forgive all sins except shirk (associating partners unto Allāh) refers to those who commit shirk and remain upon shirk. They do not regret nor do they repent to Allāh. As for those who regret and sincerely repent, the doors of forgiveness are always open.
Tawhīd (proclaiming the Oneness of Allāh) is the fundamental belief of a Muslim. A Muslim is very sensitive to His Tawhīd and does not compromise it for anything. It is Almighty Allah who is the Creator and Provider. The blessings enjoyed by mankind are all bestowed by Almighty Allāh. Hence it is only right to worship the only One Allah and appreciate His Kindness. To give credit to a created entity or any idol is the greatest injustice.
Brother be rest assured that if you accepted Islām and repented from Shirk, you have secured the forgiveness of Allāh. Have conviction on that. Once you accept Islām, you are like a new born baby, free from all sins and blemishes. In the onward journey to Islām, you need to get close to Allāh by obeying His commands.
Our sincere advise to you is that you try to search for a good Islāmic environment, preferably a nearby Masjid wherein you will be able to empower yourself with authentic Islāmic knowledge. The company of the righteous and pious will help you remain steadfast on Islām. 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Abdul Azīm bin Abdur Rahman,
Student Darul Iftaa
U.S.A.
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
 
 
Clarification
 
The Darul Iftaa has received queries regarding Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb’s teaching and affiliation with Madrassah In’aamiyya, Camperdown. The confusion is probably due to the previous Fatawaa and Google searches of Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb issued under the name of Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah, Camperdown.
 
Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb has resigned from Madrassah In’aamiyya two years ago and has no affiliation with Madrassah In’aamiyya, Camperdown.
 
Mufti Saheb has established the Darul Iftaa in Durban that facilitates for post-Ulama courses and training Mufti’s. He teaches Hadeeth at Darul Uloom Nu’maniyyah.
 
Email: darululoomnumaniyyah@gmail.com or
arkhanar@telkomsa.net