Question Summary:
Marriage breakdown

Question Detail:

My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. We've lost a child of 4 months a year ago. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.

Sister in Islaam,

We take note of the contents of your query. If what you have stated is the reality of the situation, then your husband’s conduct is unfortunate and inappropriate. We understand your frustration and lack of interest in the marriage.

If your husband has contacted your uncle who is an ‘Aalim, you should consider requesting him to facilitate a meeting with your husband and present the facts before him. There are certain statements attributed to your husband, for example: pack your bags and go, etc. that could mean divorce if your husband intended divorce. Your uncle an ‘Aalim would be able to determine all those issues or refer you to other ‘Ulamaa and guide you accordingly.

If your husband claims that the issues are minor or petty, then prepare a reconciliation document with conditions. For example: I hereby agree to 1….. 2….. 3….. 4….. 5….. Put all the conditions you would want him to abide by, especially those conditions he denies violating, stating in the agreement that if he violates any or all of the conditions, then talaaq will take place if the uncle or any person of mutual choice agrees on the violation of the conditions.

This could be an attempt to save the marriage and give him another opportunity to make the marriage work. This will also spare you the pain of a broken marriage. You may also consider marriage counselling seminars, and perhaps psychiatric/psychological and anger management therapy for your husband in the terms and conditions of the reconciliation agreement.

If your husband does not cooperate, then request him to issue you a divorce. If he does not accede to the request, you may refer the matter to the local ‘Ulamaa board for an annulment of the marriage.

During this trying frame, turn to Allaah Ta’aala with Salaatul Haajah^[1], du’aa and zikr. We make du’aa that Allaah Ta’aala grants you the courage to overcome this challenge. May Allaah Ta’aala grant you peace and happiness. Aameen.

And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.

Muajul I. Chowdhury

Student, Darul Iftaa

Astoria, New York, USA

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

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^[1] The procedure for Salaatul-Haajah is available here.