Question Summary:
I have recently reverted to Islam and I have now fallen in love with the person that convinced me to revert.. its been a long long time and we are set on marrying.. at heart we have already gotten married.. so its just the object of signing a paper..

Question Detail:

This is my situation.. I have recently reverted to Islam and I have now fallen in love with the person that convinced me to revert.. its been a long long time and we are set on marrying.. at heart we have already gotten married.. so its just the object of signing a paper.. i cannot do that yet since my parents don't know yet.. and so on.. we will NOT change our minds about marrying.. and we will inshallah.. soon. I was just wondering what was the procedure in the prophet muhammad's time.. (pbuh) did they even need to have a proper nikah with a paper signing!? Because at heart we are married and we have witnesses that can be there for us.. its just the object of signing the papers as well as our age.. does a ring and a piece of paper really change anything if we are already married at heart? I need to know this for one because I don't know if its haram to even have thoughts (sexual and so on).. Inshallah you will be able to help me.. Thank you.. Allah Hafiz.

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
At the outset, you should know that it is harām to have casual relations with a non-mahram man or to fantasize about him.  You and the other brother should stop all such relations (Ahsan al-Fatāwā 8/40; Sa'īd).
In principal, a nikāh is valid with a proposal and an acceptance in the presence of at least two Muslim, sane, and adult witnesses.  Marrying secretly without witnesses or being "married at heart" is not valid in Islām, nor is the signing of documents necessary.
We suggest that you contact a local scholar who may further assist you in talking to your parents and guiding you towards a proper Islamic marriage.
 
قال عامة العلماء إن الشهادة شرط جواز النكاح
(بدائع الصنائع 2/523؛ ديوبند)
 
وقد روي عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه نهى عن نكاح السر والنهي عن السر يكون أمرا بالاعلان لأن النهي عن الشيء أمر بضده وروي عنه صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال أعلنوا النكاح ولو بالدف ولنا ما روي عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال لا نكاح إلا بشهود وروي لا نكاح إلا بشاهدين
(المرجع السابق)
 
النكاح ينعقد بلفظين يعبر بهما عن الماضي نحو أن تقول المرأة تزوجت ويقول الرجل قبلت وقال ينعقد أيضا بلفظين يعبر بأحدهما عن المستقبل نحو أن يقول الرجل زوجني فتقول المرأة تزوجت
(المحيط البرهاني 4/5؛ إدارة القرآن)
 
ولا يجوز عقد النكاح بين مسلمين بشهادة الكفار والصبيان والمجانين والعبدين المكاتبين والمدبرين والنائمين
(المرجع السابق، ص 36)
 
قال: بلغنا عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أنه قال: "لا نكاح إلا بشهود" وبه أخذ علماؤنا رحمهم الله تعالى
(كتاب المبسوط 5/28؛ الفكر)
 
وعقد النكاح بغير تسمية المهر جائز ولها مهر مثلها من نسائها
(المرجع السابق، ص 56)
And Allah knows best
Wassalam u Alaikum
Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah