Question Summary:
I have fallen in love with another man, but my parents won’t allow me to marry him.

Question Detail:

I am divorced. After five years of divorce I fell in love with a Pakistani Muslim man who is already married to another woman and has seven children Mashallah. I have decided to marry him but when I told my family about my decision they all disagreed just because he is married to another women and has children.
Now my family has locked me up in my hometown in India so that I do not meet him or have any relationship with the man. We used to work together in Dubai, but now I am in India. Even after four months of staying away from each other I just can’t forget him. I keep thinking about him.

Can I marry him without my mother’s consent? Please show me the right path what to do.

Answer :

Normal
0
false
false
false
EN-ZA
X-NONE
AR-SA

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
 
Marriage is such a relationship which creates a strong bond and love between two different people of two different backgrounds. Marriage is a Sunnāh of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam as well as a blessing from Allah Subhāhahu Wa Ta’ālā.
 
However, when it is done in a way which is against the orders of Allah and against the laws of Shari’āh, it is deprived from blessings and it brings grief, sorrow, depression, loneliness, etc. The point is that, this relationship that you have with this man is indeed an act of Harām. Failing to abstain from such a sin will trigger the anger of Allah Subhānahu Wa Ta’ālā and will deprive you from many blessings.
 
The greatest quality that is considered in a marriage is piety. With piety comes harmony and a peaceful life. As for love marriages, they usually do not last for too long bringing a bitter and a devastating end since their foundations were corrupted right from the beginning.
 
Furthermore, regarding your parents, their obedience is a must as long as they do not contradict with the laws of Shari’āh. Allah Subhānah Wa Ta’ālā has mentioned in the Qurān:
 
 
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا O  )الإسراء: 23(
“And your Lord has decreed that you do not worship (anyone) except Him, and do good to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age (while) with you, say not to them (even as little as), "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (17:23)
 
Allah has given your parents a lot of rights over you. They have done everything for you since childhood. They have given you so much love and have sacrificed their happiness just for you. You must consider your parents as your well wishers. Whatever they do for you, will definitely be for your own good. Your happiness lies within the happiness of your parents. You can never enjoy life while your parents are heartbroken. Today, you have the chance of pleasing your parents. Tomorrow, they will no longer be alive in this world to look after you and advise you. As they say, “Whatever goes around comes around”. If you break the hearts of your parents today, tomorrow when your children grow up, they will do the same with you.
 
Talk to your parents, friends, relatives etc. and ask them to look for a nice pious man for you. Definitely they will be able to help you out. Also, make a lot of Duā to Allah Subhānahu Wa Ta’ālā for keeping you away from sins and in helping you find the right husband. Try your best in keeping yourself away from Fitnā and engage yourself in Ibādah as much as possible. Strengthen your connection with Allah Subhānahu Wa Ta’ālā. He will always be there to assist you in difficult situations like this. May Allah guide you in making the right decision. Āmeen.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Abdul Hannan Nizami,
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Husain Kadodia.
www.daruliftaa.net