Question Summary:
A young fellow and a young girl wanted to get married to stay away from the zina. But you advised the boy that if he can not support his wife then he should restraint and control his desires by fasting?!?

Question Detail:

I saw the question about marriage. (Fatwa #  15129)  A young fellow and a young girl wanted to get married to stay away from  the zina. But you advised the boy that if he can not support his wife then he should restraint and control his desires by fasting. You also mentioned that the parents are not obligated to support him.  (Kindly) My question is that he is young and he realy wants to get married then what is meant by the hadith (I don’t know the proper hadith) that when the child grows up and matures then it is the responsibility of parents to arrange the marriage for him and if they do not do so and their son or daughter falls in any sin (zina or other prohibited sexual acts) then the burden of those sins falls on the parents. Kindly clear this matter in the light of quran and hadith because I read in the quran as well (meaning:  marry them if they are poor Allah will make them ghani). Kindly explain this in detail that when prophet(SAW) said that parents should arrange marriage for their young ones then isn’t it to some extent the responsibility of parents to help their young children to get marry? or in what way parents have to should arrange marriage for their young ones?

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

We agree with you. If a child wants to marry, the parents should consider that strongly and get their child married. They should not consider the material aspects of the world in that. They must be focused on the moral and Islamic issues. However the above is if there is a healthy relationship between the parents and the child. Unfortunately nowadays, in such a situation, the child makes his own decision which then leads to much disputes and acrimony between the parents and the child. We totally disagree with such consequences and always endeavour to avoid that. We therefore take into consideration who sent us the question. If is was the parents, we would advise as per your sentiments. The parents would be encouraged to assist the child in marrying. In query 15129, the query was from the son and we felt that he should exercise restraint if his parents do not accede to his wishes. We should concede that in that case, the parents are also sinful as they know and witness the immoral acts of the son. They should intervene and get their son married.
 
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah