Question Summary:
My marriage has since broken up as he turned out to be a very horrible and abusive man who has no respect for women or our religion. …If I do still need an Islamic divorce, please can you inform me of the correct procedures of Islamic divorce

Question Detail:

1)      A few years ago, I got involved in a haram relationship.  At the time I was ignorant and thought I was in love. I didn’t look at if he was suitable for me as a husband or if he would make a good father. I married the guy against the will of my family. We had our Nikah without a Wali from my side.  I want to know if my marriage was valid.

2)      My marriage has since broken up as he turned out to be a very horrible and abusive man who has no respect for women or our religion.  Me and my husband have been separated for over one year now, so do I still need to get an Islamic divorce? (Bearing in mind that I separated from him with the intention of wanting a divorce and I don’t want him in my life.)

3)     

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
If a woman has married without her guardian’s approval to a man who is not equal to her in Shari’a, the nikah will be invalid.  If the guardian later approves of it, still too it will be invalid and a new nikah will be needed.  If the person to whom the girl has married is equal to her and the remaining requirements of nikah are found, the nikah will be valid.
Rad-ul-Muhtar (3/56,57) H.M. Sa’eed company
و يفتى فى غير الكفاء بعدم جوازه اصلا و هو المختار للفتوى لفساد الزمان (رد المحتار) قال العلامة ابن عابدين (قولنا بعدم جوازه اصلا) هذه رواية الحسن عن ابى حنيفة و هذا اذا كان لها ولى و لم يرض به قبل العقد فلا يفيد الرضا بعده بحرو اما اذا لم يكن لها ولى فهو صحيح نافذ مطلقا كما ياتى.
 
For a nikah to be terminated, talaq is required.  By merely living separated for a long period does not constitute a talaq.
 
Before proceeding with divorce, one should try and save the marriage to the best of one’s ability.  Even though talaq is permissible in Shari’a, it is highly disliked.  One should try to resolve the differences by mutually discussing the problem.  Try to get someone to mediate between the couples or even take on marriage consoling. If however their seems no possibility for couples to stay together and talaq is the only option then one may ask the husband to give the wife talaq.  The wife may also offer husband an amount in lieu of talaq (Khula’).  If the husband refused to give talaq and the wife is oppressed, she may present her case in front of her local Ulama and they may annul the nikah if necessary. 
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Ml. Ehzaz Ajmeri,
Student Darul Iftaa
Concurred by:
Ml. Abu Yahya
Student Darul Iftaa
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah