Question Summary:
He criticises me constantly and punishes me for anything I may have done to him…Am I able to request a divorce?

Question Detail:

I got married three years ago. I left the state that i was living so that my husband could remain in the state that his parents were living. I come from a big, close family who are very active in the community alhamdulilah but i chose to leave that as i knew my husband should be near his family.

We have not been happy together since we got married. I fulfill all my duties but dislike my husband considerably and dont receive much love from him or support even though he knows i left my family and friends to move to his state.

My iman has become so much weaker since being married and I find it hard to focus as i am always worried about our marriage etc. I live a very isolated life as my husband does not have many friends and the ones that he does have are not Muslim. He does not want to mix much with others especially if I have introduced him to them. All the people I have tried to introduce him to are practising Muslim families but because i knew them first he makes them feel unwelcome.

He criticises me constantly and punishes me for anything I may have done to him. I really am finding it hard to cope with this anymore and wish I could get out of it. I had strong reservations about marrying him but thought it was islamically the right thing to do and that i would eventually like him. This has not happen.

Am I able to request a divorce?

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
At the outset, you state that you had reservations in marrying him but still married him with the hope of liking him. Marriage is lifelong commitment to your partner and not a wait and test game. There are families involved in the process and if not done correctly it could have serious repercussions on either party. If you were no satisfied in marrying him, you should be honest and disclose that. Your dishonesty has cost you, your husband and family serious pain and agony. Furthermore, you state that he stops you from mixing with other people. As a husband he has the right to do so especially if they are strange men involved. If you are a socially conscious person and feared that he was not so, you should have enquired this before entering the marriage. Perhaps he has a reason for adopting this approach which you are unaware of as you are from out of state. He is aware of the surrounding and the kind of people that are there and hence stopping you from mixing with others.
If the marriage has deteriorated because of your negative attitude towards your husband, it is incorrect to ask for a divorce. Divorce is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly. However, if there are other valid reasons for asking for a divorce, we suggest that you consult with some local Ulama of your area to assist you in this issue. You should also talk to your parents or some senior person who may intervene and strike a resolve and salvage your marriage.
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah