Question Summary:
Is there anything wrong with me?

Question Detail:

Salaam
Since the age of 16 I have been talking out loud to myself. I think when I reached adolescence, hormonal changes triggered something in my brain. I also have a lot of emotional ups and downs, depression  and prefer to be alone. I am a working mum, have a husband, 2 kids. I have also established my namaz  since 2014 and started an Islamic theology course. My concentration is so bad I have trouble concentrating. Just generally I just feel anger, regret, jealousy. I feel little joy although I have everything to be grateful for.
 
My question is when I am talking put loud is everything I say recorded by thangels just as it would be if I were with people?
Is there anything I can do controlor stop this in a spiritual sense.
 
One more thing  I wake up sometimes during the night and feel completely paralysed.  I mentioned to my Islamic course tutor. She said it could b3 sleep apnoea, jinny or soul issues. Please can you shed some light on this matter. 
 
Jzk

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
In principle, if one is in such a state wherein one has no control over himself, such a person will not be held accountable.[i] Hence, if you are talking aloud to yourself and it is beyond your control, you will be excused.
As for the second issue, wherein you are waking up at night feeling paralysed, then you should consult a doctor and seek treatment. We also advise you to be punctual with your five daily Salah and recite Ayatul Kursi after each Salah. Recite the Manzil daily.[ii] Before sleeping at night, recite the four Quls and blow on your hands and pass the hands around the body.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ridhwan Ur Rahman
Student Darul Iftaa
Cardiff, Wales, UK 
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.