Question Summary:
Is it permissible to join family gatherings wherein my husband’s brother in law is present?

Question Detail:

 
My question is that I observe shariah perda and the guy I got married to was told that before but after marriage I have to go in front of his brother in laws (sisters husband). I told him that he said all is going well and u want to sit separate (the whole family sits together for tea and dinner etc). I feel like a hypocrite. I have endured a lot for this perda and my mother in law is saying it is OK to go in front of them as long as I wear a big shawl.
I don’t know what to do.
Pls give me some sound advice

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
 
Sister in Islam,
 
It is encouraging to see that you have not given up practicing upon the laws of Shariah despite the pressure from your family. May Allah Ta’ala keep you steadfast and ease you in your difficulty. Aameen. 
According to Shariah, one has to observe strict hijab in front of a Ghair Mahram. By strict, it is meant one cannot freely intermingle and talk with a Ghair Mahram without a need that is justifiable and acceptable in Shariah. In fact Shariah has ordered one to be even stricter in hijab with one’s brother in law, consider the following hadith:
"الحمو الموت"
The brother in law is death (Sahih Bukhari: 5232/Sahih Muslim: 2172) 
Therefore, acting upon the laws of Shariah should not make you feel like a hypocrite. You are absolutely correct in staying away from such family gatherings. The excuse posed by your husband and the ruling stated by your mother is baseless and incorrect. Merely wearing a big shawl does not justify intermingling with Ghair Mahrams. The element of Fitna and bad Nazr is still there.
We advise that you speak to your in laws or contact a local Alim or Mufti so that he may explain to your family and how you feel.
An important point to bear in mind is that when dealing with such matters much Hikamah (wisdom) is required. When discussing this matter you should not lose the respect of your husband or his mother.
We make Duaa Allah Ta’ala guide you in this predicament. Aameen.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Saleem Ibn Sajawal Khan
Bradford, UK
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.