Question Summary:
Is it a requirement to live with in-laws? Question Detail:
Is it a requirement to live with in-laws? My husband and I are from different cultures, we are being confronted with the possibility of his sister and her new husband living with us. I do not want them to move in because I may be confronted at times with the situation of being alone with him. I am very concerned because I do not want to live in such a situation. Please give advice as to what to do.
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Firstly, it is critical to point out that a general ruling cannot be given on such issues. Every case has to be analysed independently.
With regards to this particular case, it is the duty of your husband to ensure that you have adequate privacy. Having a situation wherein you would be alone with your sister-in-law’s husband is not permissible.
Umar رضي الله عنه narrates that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “A man is never alone with a women except that the devil is the third one with them”.
وَعَنْ عُمَرَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «لَا يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلَّا كَانَ ثالثهما الشَّيْطَان» . رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيّ
Since your husband can afford to provide you with a separate accommodation you would have the right to demand for it. Furthermore, the probability of being alone with your sister-in-law’s husband is an additional reason that sharing one house is not suitable.
Although you do have the right to demand a separate house in this case, we would advise you to react in a wise and calm manner. Explain to your husband that you are uncomfortable with the idea of your sister-in-law coming with her husband to stay; rather they should look for their own apartment so that you can have maximum privacy.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Mohammed Patel
Student Darul Ifta
Zambia.
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
قَالَ الشَّيْخُ خَيْرُ الدِّينِ الرَّمْلِيُّ فِي حَاشِيَةِ الْمِنَحِ أَقُولُ كَلَامُ الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ فِي شَيْءٍ وَالْخَانِيَّةُ فِي غَيْرِهِ فَهُمَا فَرْعَانِ فَفَرْعُ الْخَانِيَّةِ فِيمَا إذَا كَانَ فِي الدَّارِ أَحَدٌ مِنْ أَحْمَاءِ الزَّوْجِ يُؤْذِيهَا وَفَرْعُ الْبَزَّازِيَّةِ فِيمَا إذَا كَانَ فِي الْبَيْتِ أَحَدٌ مِنْهُمْ مُطْلَقًا إذْ الْمُرَادُ بِالْأَذِيَّةِ الْأَذِيَّةُ بِالْقَوْلِ وَالْفِعْلِ كَمَا هُوَ ظَاهِرٌ فَإِذَا أَخْلَى لَهَا بَيْتًا لَهُ غَلَقٌ مِنْ دَارٍ فِيهَا أَحْمَاؤُهَا وَلَا يَضُرُّونَهَا بِقَوْلٍ أَوْ فِعْلٍ فَلَيْسَ لَهَا طَلَبُ غَيْرِهِ وَإِنْ آذَوْهَا لَهَا طَلَبُ غَيْرِهِ وَهَذَا مَعْنَى مَا قَالَهُ فِي الْخَانِيَّةِ بِخِلَافِ الْبَيْتِ إذَا كَانَ فِيهِ أَحَدٌ مِنْهُمْ فَإِنَّ لَهَا طَلَبَ غَيْرِهِ وَإِنْ لَمْ يُؤْذُوهَا بِقَوْلٍ أَوْ فِعْلٍ فَمَا فَهِمَهُ صَاحِبُ الْبَحْرِ صَحِيحٌ فِي مَحَلِّهِ وَهَذَا هُوَ الظَّاهِرُ فَلَا حَاجَةَ إلَى قَوْلِهِ لَكِنْ يَنْبَغِي فَتَأَمَّلْ. اهـ
فَعَلَى الْمُفْتِي أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إلَى حَالِ أَهْلِ زَمَانِهِ وَبَلَدِهِ، إذْ بِدُونِ ذَلِكَ لَا تَحْصُلُ الْمُعَاشَرَةُ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ، وَقَدْ قَالَ تَعَالَى - {وَلا تُضَارُّوهُنَّ لِتُضَيِّقُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ} [الطلاق: 6]-. ( رد المحتار ( ص 602 / ج 3 / ايج ايم سعيد ) )
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