Question Summary:
I’m an unmarried female that watches pornography. What advice can you give me?

Question Detail:

Salam alaykum,
I am not sure what to do. I am a 22 year old female, unmarried and for the passed two years I have been watching porn and masturbating on and off again feeling guilty after every time but I don't know why I can't stop. I watched it on accident once and then it continued. I have tried many things to stop and I can stop for weeks but then I start again for a couple days and stop again. Recently however I did not feel guilty the last time I did that and I am very worried about what this means. Can you please advise me on what I should do? Also I haven't been able to find a suitable husband yet. Is there any dua to help me against my desires?
Thanks.
Salam

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
May Allah reward you for recognizing the issues you are facing and seeking help for them. May Allah grant you patience, perseverance and steadfastness.
 
You should adopt a two-pronged approach to address the issue of watching pornography:
a.) Spiritual approach and b.) Practical approach.
 
Spritual Approach
1.)   Create a consciousness of Allah being with you at all times. The famed scholar and saint, Sahl Al-Tastari (may Allah have mercy on him) was told by his uncle to read at night: “Allah is with me, Allah is watching me, Allah is aware of my actions.” Make it a habit to recite this whenever you feel a bad thought creeping into your mind along with seeking refuge in Allah from Shaytan.
 
2.)   Pray to Allah to grant you a suitable husband. Make it a habit to make dua constantly. Make dua after every salah you pray and especially on Fridays between the times of 'Asr and Maghrib.
 
3.)   Fill your time with beneficial spiritual activities. Find out if there is an 'alimah in your town from whom you can learn about Islam. Find out if there are any hifdh classes and memorize some surahs of the Quran. If there are no local options available, you can enroll in an online learning institute to learn Arabic or other Islamic subjects. This way you will be spending your time in a beneficial way and progress in your knowledge about Islam.
 
4.)   Try to fast in the days when you are not experiencing menstruation. This will weaken the desire, Insha-Allah.
 
Practical Approach
 
1.)   Bring your laptop and/or computer into a living room in a way that its view is not obscured. Under no circumstances should you keep them in a study or a bedroom. The intent is to keep it in a public area to prevent any private or alone time. If you have a smart-phone, then it will best to get a regular cell-phone. If this not possible, then use a suitable app to block internet access and have a trusted friend or relative set the password.
 
2.)   Every time a sin happens, give a donation at a high-enough amount (according to your own capability) that will cause you some discomfort and make you think twice before viewing pornography.
 
3.)   Take up one or more hobbies to keep yourself busy. Make it a priority to plan your time ahead so you do not find yourself alone with ample amounts of free time. You have to keep your schedule full. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Try to find good and righteous female company with whom you can spend some of your time. In short, try to not be alone by yourself a lot.
 
4.)   If the thought about viewing pornography comes to your mind, do not think of it as something harmless. Rather, do your best to discard it, and take up a useful activity. Do not let it develop further.
 
5.)   Seek all permissible avenues to find a suitable husband. It is not necessary for you to look only in the city you are living. Your parents and elder relatives can let their relatives and friends know wherever they are that they are looking for a husband for you. They can also place matrimonials in Islamic magazines or newspapers on your behalf. We also mentioned earlier that you should surround yourself with pious female friends. Insha-Allah they can also assist you in this regard. 
 
Insha-Allah, hopefully by applying a spiritual and practical approach you will be at peace with yourself and be able to resist all such temptations.
 
We make dua that you find a compatible, caring and pious husband who loves you and you love him in return. May Allah save you from this habit. Ameen
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best,
Mufti Sohail ibn Arif,
Assistant Mufti, Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.