Question Summary:
I want to marry her but I think she has changed, what should I do? Question Detail:
I made a mistake by falling in love with a girl.To be honest she changed me.By seeing her as a good person I started to change myself. I started to become religious,started to perform prayers on time, recited Holy Quran, offered nafal prayers. I had a clean intentions to please Allah and to forgive me and her and unite her without any more haram. After every prayers I seeked to Almighty Allah.
She is very religious and since our prophet (sm) said marry the person who is best in deen not in beuties. I told my parents they agreed and they wanted to talk to her family but she refused.I lived in Bangladesh and she was in USA. Her words made me to think she is different from other girls. And I made myself more devoted to Allah (swt) keep praying still I pray. I did a mistake few years back. I seeked forgivness to her .However, her parents came to know and her family agreed to arrange wedding ceremony very soon. I am having financial problems so I need some time. The thing is the way I saw her, the company I got I dont have trust anymore that the wedding I dreamed its not gona happen anymore.
I have clear intentions She was like a true religious muslim wife. But now she behave such a way that I am not in peace. i am worrying about my future that I will suffer and she is not gona be same. I ask Allah I cried to him in shejdah to give me peace and to have her best wife. My question is what I have to do now? I feel like there will be a huge space between us no matter how much I love her as wife for the sake of Allah,she is not gona love me. I have another question since her family agreed that they will accept me so is it halal to talk to her?
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Allah is the Most-Forgiving, the Most-Merciful. Be confident of His Mercy and Love, and always strive your best do right and avoid wrong.
The two keys of making a good decisions are istikharah and mashwarah. You should make istikharah for seven days since this is a major decision and will have an impact on you for the rest of your life.
In addition, consult with the elders in your family and get their advice as well. In the end, if you feel that you are not comfortable with her as your future wife, then it would be best to look for someone who will not create those doubts in your mind.
Being engaged to be married does not change your status as a non-mahram (stranger) to your future wife. As a result, it is not permissible for you to talk with her because you are still not her mahram until after the nikah has taken place.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
Clarification
The Darul Iftaa has received queries regarding Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb’s teaching and affiliation with Madrassah In’aamiyya, Camperdown. The confusion is probably due to the previous Fatawaa and Google searches of Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb issued under the name of Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah, Camperdown.
Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb has resigned from Madrassah In’aamiyya two years ago and has no affiliation with Madrassah In’aamiyya, Camperdown.
Mufti Saheb has established the Darul Iftaa in Durban that facilitates for post-Ulama courses and training Mufti’s. He teaches Hadeeth at Darul Uloom Nu’maniyyah.
Email: darululoomnumaniyyah@gmail.com or arkhanar@telkomsa.net
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