Question Summary:
I want to get married but my parents think I am irresponsible.

Question Detail:

I am an 18 year old girl. I have been in a relationship with a boy for more than a year. We have the intention of getting married as soon as possible but I am aware that this is still wrong. My parents have found out about him but they want me to wait as they don't think I am responsible enough to get married yet. His family all know about this and they all approve. I need some help and advice please. My dad is being very stubborn. We want to get married but want everyone to approve of it. Please help me. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
According to your explanation, your parents know of your relationship but they do not approve of you getting married now as you are not responsible enough.
We fail to understand how you are not responsible enough to get married but you are responsible enough to have a relationship.
How responsible enough could you be if you fall pregnant? How responsible enough could you be if the boy used you and abandoned you? How responsible enough are you in your Deen by violating Shariah through this relationship?
Both you and your dad are wrong as both of you are aware that Shariah prohibits any relationship out side marriage. Your parent’s primary response should be to stop you from a haram relationship.
Sister, while we understand the emotional attachment you have with this boy due to your relationship with him, remember haram always has negative consequences. Your young age and naivety coupled with emotions may cloud your rationale. We advise you to contain your emotions and consider the following:
Allah Taala created you as a unique pearl. Love and cherish yourself. Don’t give yourself away for free. Whoever wants you should approach you through the honour of Nikah and commit to keep your shine and beauty. Unfortunately, you have not recognized your value and threw yourself to a person losing your value. Revert to your honour through tawba and be patient. Preserve yourself, your speech, your eyes, your feelings etc till you get married and valued with the honour Allah bestowed upon you.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Ismail Dawoodjee
Student Darul Iftaa
Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net