Question Summary:
I want my mother to forgive us if we had hurt her

Question Detail:

My mother passed away last week .which is big loss and pain for our family. I don't believe in bidah and saint worship that happens in India.
My relatives were saying that my mother Ruh will be here for 40 days which I don't believe. My question is can I see her in dreams . I read in few authenticated Islamic sites that Allah allows good souls to visit her house     and also good souls come and talk to us in dream..I want my mother to forgive us if we had hurt her.. How can we convey this to her ???

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We are sad to know of the demise of your mother. Indeed the loss of a mother is irreplaceable. May Allah  Ta`ala grand your mother Jannatul Firdows. Ameen.
 
The belief that the rooh of the deceased remains until 40 days in the world has no merit in Shari`ah. Dreams are from Allah. We have no control over what we dream.
 
If you want to benefit your mother, practice on the sunnah. Consider the following;
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: «كُلُّ أُمَّتِي يَدْخُلُونَ الجَنَّةَ إِلَّا مَنْ أَبَى»، قَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، وَمَنْ يَأْبَى؟ قَالَ: «مَنْ أَطَاعَنِي دَخَلَ الجَنَّةَ [ص:93]، وَمَنْ عَصَانِي فَقَدْ أَبَى 
Translation:
Abu Huraira (radiyallahu anhu) reports that the Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said ; “Every one of my Ummah will enter Jannah except those who refuse". He was asked: "Who will refuse?" He said, "Whoever obeys me (follows my sunnah), shall enter Jannah, and whosoever disobeys me, he has refused[1](Sahih Bukhari)
The best reward for your mother is that you adopt piety and closeness to Allah.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: " إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ: إِلَّا مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ 
Translation:
Abu Huraira (radiyallahu anhu) reports that the Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) said; “when a man dies, his acts come to an end but three: recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son who prays for him (Sahih Muslim)[2]
Many Sahaba mothers passed away in their lifetimes. The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) advised the Sahaba to make isale sawaab (to convey reward) for their mothers. See the following hadith;
 
أَنْبَأَنَا ابْنُ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا: أَنَّ سَعْدَ بْنَ عُبَادَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ تُوُفِّيَتْ أُمُّهُ وَهُوَ غَائِبٌ عَنْهَا، فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ أُمِّي تُوُفِّيَتْ وَأَنَا غَائِبٌ عَنْهَا، أَيَنْفَعُهَا شَيْءٌ إِنْ تَصَدَّقْتُ بِهِ عَنْهَا؟ قَالَ: «نَعَمْ 
Translation:
Sayyiduna Abdullah ibn Abbaas (Radhiallaahu Anhu)  reports that Sayyiduna Sa'ad ibn Ubaadah (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was away when his mother passed away. When he returned, he asked Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam), 'Will it be of any benefit if I give charity on her behalf?' Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) replied in the affirmative. (Sahih Bukhari)[3]
 
Isale thawaab can be done in anyway. One may also recite Quran or nafil salah etc, with the intention of giving the reward to the deceased.
 
عن أبي أُسَيدِ مالكِ بنِ ربيعة السَّاعدىِّ، قال: بينا نحنُ عندَ رسولِ الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- إذ جاءهُ رجل مِن بني سَلِمةَ، فقال: يا رسولَ الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم -، هل بقي مِن بِرِّ أبوَىَّ شيٌ أبَرُهما به بعدَ موتهما؟ قال: "نعم، الصلاةُ عليهما، والاستغفارُ لهما، وإنفاذُ عهدِهِما من بعدِهِمَا، وصِلَةُ الرحِمِ التي لا توصَلُ إلا بهما، وإكرامُ صَدِيقِهما
 
Translation:
AbuUsayd Malik ibn Rabi'ah as-Sa'idi narrates, while we were with the Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) a man of Banu Salmah came to Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wa sallam) and asked;  is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, ask forgiveness on their behalf, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends[4]. (Abu Dawood)
 
 
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Hafizurrahman Fatehmahomed
Student Darul Iftaa
Netherlands  
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.