Question Summary:
I need some advice with regard to my son who is 12 yrs old.

Question Detail:

I need some advice with regard to my son who is 12 yrs old. He was recently expelled from the madressah which he attends due to back chatting the sheikh who is the principal at the mosque.
The sheikh stated that either he would go or my son will have to go as none of the teaching staff wants my son there either. I would like to know if this is enough reason to expul a child from madressah.
I have done some enquiries in the area for another madressah but they do not accept boys over 12 and this is a problem for me as I am concerned for my son's islamic education.
I do not condone what my son has done but I feel that the sheikh's response was a bit harsh, I asked the sheikh if there wasn't another form of punishment, like cleaning the mosque for an unlimited time or something but he was adamant that my son cannot come back unless he goes for counselling. He excels in his secular school and I have started counselling thru my husband's work which is completely funded by their company. Sheikh doesn't think that going to a non-muslim counsellor is suitable.I have done enquiries for muslim counsellors but they range from R275 to R812 an hour which is just to expensive
Please can you give me some advice as I am completely distraught
Shukran

Answer :

Generally, the Madāris do not expel a child permanently. If they do expel a child, it is because they want the parents to acknowledge and assist in the disciplining of the child and as soon as the problem is addressed, they reinstate the child. The Madāris usually have a great burden on their shoulders. On one side they want to assist your child in becoming an upright learned Muslim, on the other side, they have to cater for other people’s children as well. The Madāris expect and rely upon the assistance of the parents to accomplish this mammoth task. The Shaykh of this particular Madrasah has probably noticed great areas of concern in regards to your child’s behavior and character; thus, he expelled him to send a message home that his problem has reached a very critical limit. As soon as you, the parents, become conscious and concerned of the problem, I am sure that the Madrasah will be more than happy to work with you in addressing the problems. However, you will have to show your dedication to the betterment of the education and character of your child before the Madrasah will think of reinstating him. Your involvement in your child’s training and disciplining will prove far more beneficial than any counselor. Instead of moving your child to another Madrasah where he might find himself in similar problems, you should attempt to fix the problem at the root. You can accomplish this by sitting together with the principal and teachers of the Madrasah and chart out a plan in rectifying your son’s misdeeds.
 
And Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Ml. Yusuf bin Yaqub,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai,
Assistant Mufti
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah