Question Summary:
I disrespected my parents and now, I don’t want to be anywhere near them. What should I do?

Question Detail:

I am a case of severe depression. I yelled at my parents not out of anger but lack of patience. I did not scream but I explained in a high pitch volume still not meaning disrespect. They say they care about me but I can't accept anything from them right now. I just wanna be left alone.
I have some problem due to depression which kills my will to do anything if there is so much as an involvement from my parents or other people who say they care. Now I know they care but I just can't say it right now.
I am comfortable with a bunch of people back home who I was talking to before I came to Saudi for a vacation and I can't go back. I don't know the reason why I have so much grudge in my heart but I will find out. As I said I do not even like one bit the fact that they are even thinking about me.
It feels unacceptable to me. I do not want to make any promise and go back even. I do not want to say it but I want them to delete from my mind for a short period or delete myself from their mind. I am a hafiz and I know what it means to say, think or even do any amount of disrespect.
But I am in severe depression as well. Pls tell me if I am accounting for major sins like this or others. I do say astaghfirullah and pray two rak'ah for forgiveness but I don't want them anywhere near me.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Patience and tolerance are two perplexing factors in a person’s life. If one is unable to exercise restraint and tolerance, he will face many challenges in his lifetime.[1] The blessed Prophet Sallallahu `Alayhi Wasalllam mentioned in the Ahādith: 
عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: يَقُولُ اللَّهُ سُبْحَانَهُ: «ابْنَ آدَمَ إِنْ صَبَرْتَ وَاحْتَسَبْتَ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الْأُولَى، لَمْ أَرْضَ لَكَ ثَوَابًا دُونَ الْجَنَّةِ»
“The Prophet () said: “Allah says: ‘O son of Adam! If you are patient and seek reward at the moment of first shock, I will not approve of any reward for you less than Paradise.’”[2]
لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الغَضَبِ
“The strong man is not the one who wrestles, but the strong man is in fact the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.”[3]
One is faced with many challenges in his lifetime. These are all tests and tribulations from the Almighty Allah. If one passes the trials given in this world, he will surely succeed in the hereafter. Conversely, if one cannot even bear the hardships and difficulties of this world, it won’t get any better in the hereafter.
The rights of the parents have been emphasized repeatedly in the Qur`ān and Ahādith. One is obliged to keep his parents happy regardless of what situation he is in. To the extent that even if the parents are non-believers, one still has to fulfill the rights of the parents. One who fails to do so has been cursed and looked down upon. One should keep the parents happy to the best of his abilities. He should try his best not to anger the parents in any way possible. If one can win the hearts of the parents, one is even promised jannah.[4] Consider the following Ahādith: [5]
الكَبَائِر، قَالَ: «الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الوَالِدَيْنِ، وَقَتْلُ النَّفْسِ، وَشَهَادَةُ الزُّورِ
“The biggest of Al-Kabā’ir (the great sins) are:  to join others as partners in worship with Allah, to murder a human being, to be undutiful to one’s parents and to make a false statement.”[6]
أَيُّ العَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ؟ قَالَ: «الصَّلاَةُ عَلَى وَقْتِهَا»، قَالَ: ثُمَّ أَيٌّ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ بِرُّ الوَالِدَيْنِ»
(The Prophet Sallallahu `Alayhi Wasallam was asked) Which deed is loved most by Allah?" He replied, 'To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.' “`Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet () said, "To be good and dutiful to one's parents,"[7] 
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَنْ أَحَقُّ النَّاسِ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِي؟ قَالَ: «أُمُّكَ» قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ» قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ أُمُّكَ» قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: «ثُمَّ أَبُوكَ»
A man came to Allah's Messenger () and said, "O Allah's Messenger ()! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet () said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet () said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet () said, "Your father.”[8]
رَجُلًا قَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَا حَقُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ عَلَى وَلَدِهِمَا؟ قَالَ: «هُمَا جَنَّتُكَ وَنَارُكَ»
"O Allah's Messenger(), what are the rights of parents over their child?" He said: “They are your Paradise and your Hell." [9] (Meaning they will be the cause of you going to Hell if you disobey them and they will be the cause of you entering Paradise if you obey them in those situations that are halal.)[10]
It is clear from the above quoted Ahādith the status parents hold in Islam. One can only imagine the punishments he will have to go through if he is unable to fulfil their rights.
It is possible your attitude and mindset is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain which has diverse effects on your moods and conduct. We advise you seek medical counsel and take medication. Remember this is purely a medical issue and you should not feel embarrassed in exploring that avenue. Many people did so and were successful. That will have a positive impact on your attitude and conduct Inshā-Allah.
We advise you to start fresh once again by seeking forgiveness from your parents. This is Shaytān playing with your mind so he can pull you over to his side. If you continue to live such a life, consider it as Shaytān has won and you have lost. We must not blindly fall into the devious traps set forth by the accursed Shaytān. We must be aware of the consequences we will have to suffer later.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
AbdulMannan Nizami
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net