Question Summary:
I am sunni Muslim loving a Non Muslim Brahmin girl, We loved past four years, our love start from our college.I feel guilty I thinks I lost her life and happiness what thauba I have to do to come out from this ghunaa please help me.

Question Detail:

I am sunni Muslim loving a Non Muslim Brahmin girl, We loved past four years, our love start from our college , I loved her very much like a mad she also loved me the same, past one month our love is break up because of religion. When I told her I cant marry you she told me that, she will convert as a muslim, I told her it cant be happen in future our parents will not accept our relationship , so you marry someone in your caste. Suddenly keep on she ask me can you marry me , can you marry me I told her how it is possible she told we will marry some register office it’s enough I told it cant be accept in our shariyat. She told you convert as a hindu our parents will accept you. When I heard that I was shocked I told her it is impossible to convert as a hindu.

After few weeks I called her and talk please understand this situation she told you are a cheater past 4 years you used me as time pass now you are telling it’s not possible why you loved me past four years, and she told her friend, I am just use her as a time pass after office time he use me to share his feelings and worries that’s it, like that she told her friend, now what she thinks me means I used her just time pass when I heard that I feel very much bad in our loving days I take care her more at the same she also take care on me but now she thinks me as a bad its hurts me more. Daily I thinks her lot and crying like a mad,  

When I told I plan to go abroad she threatening me you will go means I will commit suicide within a day you will be return to India like that I will do. she ask promise on me to don’t go abroad , without any solution I promised her, through mobile message Now she can’t contact me I feel guilty if I go abroad means I will feel I promised her how can I go abroad please help me tell some suggestion.

I feel guilty I thinks I lost her life and happiness what thauba I have to do to come out from this ghunaa please help me.

I heard some bayaan I afraid a lot I heard Hazrat maulana Peer zulfiqar ahmad naqshbandi sahib bayaan really I cried a lot please help me give some suggestion.

Answer :

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Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,

Jazakallah khayr for writing to us regarding the difficulty you find yourself in. Brother, I will get straight to the point. It is haraam to marry a woman who is a non believer. Whether it is in a court or in a masjid, a marriage with an idol worshipper is not allowed for a Muslim man.
 
It does not matter how long you have known her or how much time you have spent with her. I understand that you have some feelings of regret that you have spent so much time with her and shared your secrets with her. It is also understandable that she feels that you have used her and that you are now letting her down. Ultimately you need to consider whether the pleasure and rewards of Allah Ta’ala mean more to you than those of a human being. You have to carefully think and ponder about your actions and at the same time also your future as a Muslim.
 
Since this girl refuses to become a Muslim, you have no choice but to let her go. She is an adult and she has to take responsibility for her actions. This type of relationship is not cast in stone.
 
Do not allow her to blackmail you emotionally. Her threats to commit suicide are childish and you should apply your mind towards giving her up. Each time the two of you have problems in the future, she will threaten you this way and thus control your life. Do you want to go on living a life of fear, instability and filled with threats?
 
Crying like mad for her is pointless. Once again I say, think of your aagirah and you will realise that you cannot put your love for this woman before the love for Allah Ta’ala. You should shed tears of regret and fear for Allah Ta’ala, not for the loss of this woman. Shaitaan has you under his control.  You need to tear yourself away from shaitaan who has come to you in the form of this woman. Even if it means that you fear that your heart will be torn to shreds in the process, you have to let her go. It is better to suffer pain and loss in this world and to lose worldly desires and things rather than to lose your Jannah.
 
You have asked for help and these are our suggestions. Turn to your Creator who still loves you more than you love yourself. As long as you make sincere tawbah, shed tears of sorrow, regret and istigfar, you will be forgiven by Allah Ta’ala.
 
Sincerely promise Allah Ta’ala that you will not date or be alone with a non-mahram woman again. Become punctual with your 5 daily salaah. Read the Quran with understanding and make amal on it. Make abundant istigfar and zikr. Give charity daily, even if it is small amount and do go learn more about what your duties and responsibilities are as a Muslim man. Listening to bayaans is not going to help you unless you make a sincere effort to change and give up this woman completely. Don’t ever speak to her, see her, send text messages, email, write to her or contact her in any way (not even through another person). The choice is entirely yours as to what happens to you in the future.
 
You have to chose between success and failure, no one can do this for you. May Allah Ta’ala guide you to become an obedient servant and slave of His, ameen.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
 
Sister Fadila,
Social Dept.
Durban, South Africa
 
Checked and Approved by,
Muftī Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net