Question Summary:
I am facing many problems in my life such as fear of people and low confidence.

Question Detail:

I am facing some serious problems in my life. Trying to overcome them by various ways. Please help me with any dua or waziffah to overcome these problems: 1. ill thinking. Like fighting with people, etc. 2. Fear, of people, and other worldly things 3. Too much introvert because of which I have very few friends and the relationship with them and family members is becoming sour 4. Low in confidence 5. Confusion, leading to difficulty in taking decisions most of the times.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother-in-Islam,
 
We are sorry to hear about the difficulties you are facing. May Allah Ta'ālā make it easier for you. Ameen.
 
On the outset it is important to understand that we all have to face challenges in our lives; some are physical struggles whereas others are internal. It is our job to overcome these hurdles in life and not let them bog us down and make us feel more despondent.
 
The first step you must take is accept and remember that these challenges are a test from Allah Ta'ālā designed to make us a better person. You must keep your focus on the akhirah and in pleasing Allah Ta'ālā through obeying his commands without burdening yourself with the social intricacies that emerge from this transient life. It is perfectly normal to feel distres due to certain circumstances in this life, but let it not divert you from your main goal in life; gaining the pleasure of Allah Ta'ālā.
Allah the Almighty says in the Quran:
 
إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ خُلِقَ هَلُوعًا، إِذَا مَسَّهُ الشَّرُّ جَزُوعًا، وَإِذَا مَسَّهُ الْخَيْرُ مَنُوعًا، إِلَّا الْمُصَلِّينَ، الَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَى صَلَاتِهِمْ دَائِمُونَ وَالَّذِينَ يُصَدِّقُونَ بِيَوْمِ الدِّينِ...وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ مِنْ عَذَابِ رَبِّهِمْ مُشْفِقُونَ، إِنَّ عَذَابَ رَبِّهِمْ غَيْرُ مَأْمُونٍ... وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَى صَلَاتِهِمْ يُحَافِظُونَ، أُولَئِكَ فِي جَنَّاتٍ مُكْرَمُونَ
Indeed man is created weak in courage, very upset when touched by evil, and very possessive when visited by good (fortune), except the performers of salah, who are regular in their salah...and those who believe in the Day of Judgment as true, and those who are fearful of the torment of their Lord. Indeed the torment of their Lord is not something to be fearless from...and those who take due care of their salah. Those will be honored in gardens (of Jannah). [Al-Quran, 70:19-35]
 
In terms of the specific issues you face, we advise you with the following:
 
(1) If you have ill feelings in your heart and feel like fighting, then recite the following and let these feelings dissipate:
 
أَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْم
Transliteration: A'oodhu billahi minash shaytaanir rajem.
Translation: I seek the refuge of Allah Ta'ālā from Shaytan the accursed. 
 
It is also recommended that you recite the following du'a and focus on the meanings of these words:
لاَ حَوْلَ وَ لاَ قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بِالله‏‏
Transliteration: Laa hawla wa laa quwwata illah billah
Translation: There is no might or power except with Allah.
 
(2) If you feel fear from people, then engage in the dhikr of Allah Ta'ālā  and remember what the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:
 
احْفَظْ اللَّهَ يَحْفَظْك، احْفَظْ اللَّهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَك، إذَا سَأَلْت فَاسْأَلْ اللَّهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْت فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاَللَّهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْأُمَّةَ لَوْ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوك بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوك إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ لَك، وَإِنْ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوك بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوك إلَّا بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللَّهُ عَلَيْك
Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. [Shu'ab al-Iman, 192, Chapter regarding belief in the Quran revealed upon our prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)]
 
(3) Shyness and modesty are considered to be commendable qualities in Islam that deter one from doing wrong[1]; although, this modesty and shyness should not hinder one from fulfilling his rights due to Allah the Almighty. The Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:
«إِنَّ لِكُلِّ دِينٍ خُلُقًا، وَإِنَّ خُلُقَ الْإِسْلَامِ الْحَيَاءُ»
“Verily in every religion there is morality, the morality of Islam is modesty.” [Sunan Ibn Majah, 4182, Book of Zuhd, Chapter of Hayā]
 
In another hadith, the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) states:
«الْحَيَاءُ مِنَ الْإِيمَانِ، وَالْإِيمَانُ فِي الْجَنَّةِ»
“Modesty is part of faith, and faith will be in Paradise.” [Sunan Ibn Majah, 4184, Book of Zuhd, Chapter of Hayā]
 
Nevertheless, it is still important that you maintain good ties with your family. This does not mean that you have to join every conversation and express an opinion on every matter. Fulfil their due rights and focus on maintaining a close relationship with Allah Ta'ālā for whosoever becomes the friend of Allah the Almighty has attained true success in this life and the hereafter.
 
(4) Having low self esteem is a result of being over-conscious about how others feel and making sure they are always satisfied. To overcome this, you must turn your focus towards performing good deeds and only worry about making Allah the Almighty happy. Be consistent in this and pin your hopes in Allah Ta'ālā and let his pleasure be your only goal. Once this relationship is established, you will not have a need to worry about how others feel because you will know that the creator of all mankind is pleased with your efforts.
 
(5) If you are confused at times and are unable to make decisions on your own, then do not be afraid to make mashwarah (consultation) with someone you trust. May it be an elder, a friend, or a local scholar or Imam; let them help you in these matters and the issues you have stated above. Open up and let them give your morale a boost when making such choices. Consolation is defined as one of the great qualities of all Muslims.
You should also perform Salah al-istikharah and seek goodness from Allah Ta'ālā. Once you have done so, you should go ahead with the decision your heart is inclined towards. If you do not know the method of this salah, you may refer to the following link:
http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/21896
 
Remember, regardless of how you feel or what situation you face, Allah Ta'ālā is watching you and is aware of your hardship. Seek help from him by making du'a and being steadfast in your Islamic obligations.
 
You should also make a habit of reciting the following du'a:
 
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَالحَزَنِ، وَالعَجْزِ وَالكَسَلِ، وَالجُبْنِ وَالبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
 
Transliteration: Allahumma innee a'oodhubika minal hamma wal hazani wal 'ajzi wal kasali wal jubni wal bukhli wa dala'id dayni wa ghalabatir rijaal.
Translation: O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men. [Sahih al-Bukhari, 6369, The Book of Du'as]
 
May Allah Ta'ālā lighten your burden and make you from amongst his close friends. Ameen.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Bilal Mohammad
Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net