Question Summary:
How can I return to my wife after giving her multiple Talāqs?

Question Detail:

Dear brother in Islam, some years back I was in a relation with a girl. At that time I was only a namesake Muslim and not practising Islam at all. The girl with whom I was in relation persuaded me to do nikah with her. We did nikah in secrecy with help of one of my friend who was a practising Muslim. This friend of mine performed our nikah with my other two friends as witnesses. After nikah me and that girl had fights over the phone on a daily basis and in a fit of rage and sometimes I used to say I divorce you and sometimes she used to ask for divorce during our fights and I used to give divorce. All this happened until I went with  jamaat.
Deen entered into my life and I got to realise the concept of nkah in Islam, then I realised what I have done by divorcing that girl many times without realising its repercussions that I have divorced her irrevocably.
Now I cry out of regret for what I have done. I request you to please tell me if there is any way out of this problem. I feel very bad and I want to be with that girl just to correct what I have done wrong. Now that I have realised the way our Islam has taught us as to how to deal with a wife. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We apologise for our belated response, which was due to many other queries which we were attending to.
In principle, issuing three divorces constitutes a Talāq al-Mughalladhah (a permanently irrevocable divorce). The consequence of such a divorce is that the issuer of divorce may not remarry his wife until she is married to another man, the marriage is consummated, and she completes her Iddah from the second marriage.[1]
We understand your grief over losing your wife in this manner. However, if you are in a position to remarry her, we advise that you first consult the elders of your family, apply your mind to the matter, make Istikhārah and then act in accordance to that. In-Shā-Allāh there shall be Barakah in doing so.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Nabeel Valli
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net