Question Summary:
How can I regain self-esteem?

Question Detail:

I would like to ask about persisting thoughts. Often after interaction with people (any person), even if I managed to be very helpful for the person in some way, I start getting waswasa that I am very bad and stupid, even if infact I know I did my best to be polite and helpful. This waswasa is very strong: I start to talking to myself aloud trying to convince myself I am not bad and I did my best.
I feel guilty without any reason or any real mistake on my part. Also I suffer from my low self-esteem and feel worthless even when I happen to do a good thing for somebody, with God's help. Please guide me the way to regain self-esteem and stop these rediculous guilt feelings. 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh
To enhance your self-esteem, you should develop the quality of Ikhlāṣ (sincerity). If a person does all his actions sincerely for the pleasure of Allah Taʿālā, such a person will never feel a sense of a low self-esteem as he knows that Allah Taʿālā is happy with him, no matter how he feels about himself or anyone else feels about him.
The second quality you should develop is Iḥtisāb. Iḥtisāb means that you do every good action hoping and expecting the reward that Allah Taʿālā promised for that action. Therefore, when you do any good action, you do it with the strong hope that Allah Taʿālā will reward you on the Day of Qiyāmah for that action.
Whenever you feel worthless, think about the innumerable bounties of Allah Taʿālā on you, the greatest one being Īmān. Also, rather than trying to convince yourself of how good you are, attribute the good action to Allah Taʿālā, that it is solely through His Tawfīq (granting you the divine ability) that you have accomplished the good deed.
Constantly recite the following Dua which Nabi Ṣallallāhu ʿalaihi wa Sallam used to make:
«اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّيْ أَعُوْذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ»[1]
Oh Allah, I seek your protection from worry and grief; and from inability and laziness; and from cowardice and miserliness; and from the burden of debt; and from the dominance of men (at the time of turmoil). [Al-Bukhārī, Ḥadīth no. 6369]
And Allah Taʿālā Knows Best
Mahmood Patel
Student, Darul Iftaa
Azaadville, South Africa
Checked and Approved by
Mufti Ebrahim Desai