Question Summary:
Dream of broken stair and dealing with a husband who won’t talk to his wife when he is angry Question Detail:
Aoa! i saw a dream about me and my husband. He is in my parents home. we are meeting. My parents suddenly cme and we are on upstairs, we come down from first floor and see that half ataies are broken but we successfully come down even the stairs are not in good position. In addition only nikah is done, rukhsati is not done.
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The broken stairs refer to the challenges of life. The fact that you successfully come down is an indication that you will overcome the challenges of life successfully.
The relationship between the spouses are is sensitive. The most effective way to overcome emotions in a marriage is through tolerance and good character. If your husband does not like something you do or something you say, you should avoid that in the future.
We advise you to read our marriage recipe. Inshallah those points will be useful to you.
RECIPE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
“Our Lord! Grant that our spouses and our offspring be a comfort to our eyes and give us the grace to lead those who are conscious of You” (Furqaan 74).
Q: Every human being by nature has an instinct to dispute. This instinct becomes more manifest between the husband and wife, thus leading to marital disputes. How can this instinct be controlled?
A. Consider the following ten points to control the instinct of dispute and maintain a happy marriage.
1. Fear Allah: It was the noble practice of Nabi ﷺ to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Quraan. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.
2. Never be angry at the same time: Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah ﷺ and sought some advice. Rasulullah ﷺ replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)
3. If one has to win an argument, let it be the other: Nabi ﷺ said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the center of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)
4. Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire: Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: “and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)
5. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly: Rasulullah ﷺ said, ‘A Mu’min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.
6. Never bring up mistakes of the past: Nabi ﷺ said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)
7. Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner: Nabi ﷺ confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda RA for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)
8. Never sleep with an argument unsettled: Abu Bakr RA resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)
9. At least, once every day, express your gratitude to your partner: Nabi ﷺ said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)
10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness: Nabi ﷺ said, ‘All the sons of Adam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499).
And Allah Taala Knows Best
Mehrazur Rahman
Student Darul Iftaa
Brooklyn, NY, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
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