Question Summary:
Do I have to provide for my father if he makes unjust demands of me?

Question Detail:

 
Earlier to marriage I was giving full of my salary but now after marriage I give only a share of my salary to my father however I take care of more than 50% of my family expenditure including the full educational expenses of my younger sister.
But still my father expects my full salary to be given to him, even though he has multiple sources of income. He is expecting me to get money from him for what all needs I shall have and my wife shall have. He does not allow me to save my earnings on my own too. In future I am worried even for taking a major decisions of putting my son in a decent school will depend on my father’s choice and not mine. Even for getting a toy to my son I might need my father's permission to get money from him ( which came from my hard work given by Allahu Subahanahu Taa'la).
 According to Islamic shariaa’h  in this situation is it permissible for the father to demand the full salary from his son who is also responsible to take care of his wife and child? Is it permissible for the guy to deny his father’s demand and continue to do what he was doing?

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We understand that you are in a position where you have to provide for your family while dealing with the stress and pressure resulting from carrying such a burden. May Allah grant you patience and ease. Ameen.
It is important that you always maintain good communication with your father and give him the utmost respect. Allah Ta'ālā says in the Holy Quran:
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا (23) وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا 
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and do good to parents. If either of them or both reach old age, do not say to them 'uff' (a word of anger or contempt) and do not scold them. And address them with respectful words, and submit yourself before them in humility out of compassion and say, "My Lord, be merciful to them as they have brought me up in my childhood." [Al-Quran, Surah Al-Isrā, 23-24]
 
Your father was there for you your entire life. Through every phase of life, he was standing behind you, cheering for you and trying his best to make you the man you are today. The sacrifices he made for your sake can never be repaid to him in full. As his son, it is your responsibility to serve him and tend to his financial needs as well.[1]
Nevertheless, as a man who is the elder of his own family, you have the right to your own wealth.[2] If your father is making unjust demands from you, then you should still try to provide for him to the best of your ability[3] and explain to him your difficulties and challenges. Alternatively, you may speak to an elderly and reputable person who is held closely and esteemed by your father. Your father may need someone to just soothe him and explain to him your concerns and sentiments.
While you may encounter difficulties in having to bear the financial burden of your family, Allah Ta'ālā will continue to grant you his blessings and mercy for this great sacrifice. At times when your heart is not at ease, it is best to remember Allah Ta'ālā for He says in the Holy Quran:
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ
Remember, in the remembrance of Allah is the peace of the heart^[4]. [Al-Quran, Surah ar-Ra'd, 28]
May Allah Ta'ālā grant you success in this life and the hereafter. Ameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Bilal Mohammad
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net