Question Summary:
Divorce or Waswasa?

Question Detail:

 
 
I am strucked with a situation. I am very careful about matter that make things haram and always update myself regarding the rulings of panels of muftis. Yesterday, I was having some fun moments with my wife suddenly she told me, "can I go" might be for doing some household chores or to offer salaah after asking me she was waiting for my permission and even I was aware, but suddenly I got a waswasa (whisper or thought) that if I said go then it will be implicit divorce though their is no intention of divorce but their was constant whisper that pronouncing the word may do so and for the same I avoided saying the word " go " for at least two minutes by discussing on other general topics but she insisted on permission and after that she told me "I have lot of household chores to do and also have to wash your clothes" and after that I told her that okay "go and wash" or might be "wash". But Now I am greeting thoughts that I uttered only "go" and it may implied as implicit divorce.Though their is no divorce intention but due to constant whispering of my inner self, I was getting those thoughts. After that incident I scold her (though I rarely do) for asking me that question and instructed her never to ask me question which may have words like "can I go", "should I leave" and "should I go".I don't want to give a divorce even once, but these thoughts are troubling me a lot. I always check my anger and avoid bringing those words to my tongue even in anger and in fun and always care for words that may be classified as implicit. But now I am having a thought that out of ignorance I did.Is that divorce really happened
 
After that incident, I am battling a virtual mind war where I am getting thoughts that every word being uttered by me while conversation is implicit. Like while ending a phone conversation, when I am saying 'Allah Hafiz' suddenly I am getting a thought their is niyyah then suddenly I am telling to myself that their isn't any. Besides other things like while explaning somethings to my wife 'When I am saying I am very strict with my students or my staff and whenever they aren't obeying I remove them from auditorium or my cabin' suddenly I get a feeling their are certain implicit words.
I became afraid of saying words like 'go or similar antonym like I am going, you can go' in front of my wife , as after uttering word, I am getting constant feeling or whisper that I made niyyah but suddenly I say to myself that their isn't any.
Regarding our personal life, me and my wife constantly reads pearls of wisdom articles from www(dot)darulfiqh(dot)com website and always support each other.
I am afraid to ask this question in front of our masjid Imam (who is a mufti) as I think, I will be labeled as Insane besides it will put my parents respect on stake as I did something very bad out of ignorance.
 
I will thankful to you, if you can take time to answer my question and suggest some good words.
 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The thoughts that you are experiencing are merely Waswasa (insinuations) from Shaytaan who is our arch enemy. Shaytaan is constantly in search of finding ways to prevent us from the obedience of Allah. Causing dissension and discord between the husband and wife is amongst his major operatives. As such, the scenarios playing out in your mind is the work of Shaytaan. This does not constitute divorce.
You should dispel these doubts and carry on with your marriage. Make du’a to Allah to alleviate your difficulty. Also, seek medical help and try to overcome your problem of Waswasa through medical treatment as soon as possible. You should also be cautious when faced with such a situation and immediately recite:
أَعُوْذُ بِاللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْم
You should also seek medical help and try to overcome your problem of Waswasa through medical treatment as soon as possible.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Nabeel Valli 
Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net