Question Summary:
Clarification on Halala

Question Detail:

My husband and I had our third talaq.  I am currently in my iddat period.  I made him give me my third because he cheated but we both regret it.  Now since we both know the sin of an arranged halala...I want to know what happens if I wanted to remarry with pure intentions but if I am not able to be with the new person because I miss my ex.  Would I get sin for asking for a talaq to go back with my ex?  
I am just worried that my intention may always be of going back to my ex because I love him so much and we have a one year old, that being married to someone else will be impossible for me.  Everyone tells me this is just shaitan playing with my head thinking of ways to get back with him in where only I would take the sin because no one else would know.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected sister in Islam,
You have gone through the painful experience of three Talaqs, and now regret it. You wish to reconcile with your husband. Our advice is you should apply your mind carefully before rushing into remarrying him. What if the problems that resulted in the divorce recur in your second marriage with him? Consider the ghastly consequences of that especially in view of you going through the burden of Halala just to be with him. These aspects must be contemplated without your emotions over running you.
Do not rush into marriage. Take your time and consult appropriate people. Make Istikhara and seek the guidance of Allah Ta’ala.
However, if you wish to return to your ex husband after he issued three divorces, then you may marry another man without putting the condition of divorcing her. The intention of Halala may be concealed in the heart of both, the new husband and wife.
The persons engaged in Halala being accursed is when it is put as a condition before the marriage, or done as a service and collecting a fee.^1,2,3
 
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Arshad Ali
Student Darul Iftaa
Trinidad
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
http://www.daruliftaa.net/
 
1( أما إذا أضمرا ذلك لا ) يكره ( وكان ) الرجل ( مأجورا ) لقصد الإصلاح وتأويل اللعن إذا شرط الأجر(الدر المختار)
قوله ( أما إذا أضمرا ذلك ) محترز قوله بشرط التحليل ( لا يكره ) بل يحل له في قولهم جميعا
 قهستاني عن المضمرات
 قوله ( لقصد الإصلاح ) أي إذا كان قصده ذلك لا مجرد قضار الشهوة ونحوها(رد المحتار 52/5)
 
2( قوله بشرط التحليل ) أي بأن يقول تزوجتك على أن أحلك له أو تقول هي ذلك فهو مكروه كراهة التحريم المنتهضة سببا للعقاب لقوله صلى الله عليه وسلم { لعن الله المحلل والمحلل له } أما لو نوياه ولم يقولاه فلا عبرة به ويكون الرجل مأجورا لقصده الإصلاح .( فتح القدير 34/4)
 3) و في الجامع الأصغر:و قال بعض مشايخنا: إذا تزوج ليحللها للأول فهاذا الثاني ماجور في ذالك(التاترخانية153/5) 
(Dars Tirmizi 3/399)4