Question Summary:
Can a woman hope for death if she does not love her husband?

Question Detail:

if a woman has tried a lot but still feels she doesnt love her husband and by living with him she will be unable to fulfill his rights and break his heart and her parents heart then can she make dua to Allah swt for her death only to save her from the fitnah of falling in to sin and disobedience of husband and parents. if not then what should she do?

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We do not know the background of the woman in reference and the reason behind why she does not love her husband.
It is important to diagnose the reasons for her feelings in order to offer appropriate advice. The problem could be medical or psychological.[1]
However, we make dua’ to Allāh that He grant her the courage to overcome her challenge.
We advise that she seek professional help in diagnosing her problem. She may also adopt the following prescriptions:
1)     Recite the following verse of the Qur’ān 99 times and then blow on a sweet food item. Eat it herself and also feed it to the husband. Do this for 3 days consecutively.[2]
 
The verse of the Qur’ān is:
 
 وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوْا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَّرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِيْ ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَّتَفَكَّرُوْنَ 
 
Transliteration:
 
“wa min aayaatihee an kalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwaajan litaskunoo ilayhaa waja ‘ala baynakum mawadatan wa rahmah inna fi thalika la aayaatin liqawmin yatafakaroon”
 
Translation:
 
“Also among His signs (that demonstrate His power and prove His Oneness) is that He has created spouses for you from yourselves (from your own species) so that you may find solace (peace and rest) with her and He has placed (blessed you with tremendous) love (most clearly seen during youth and adulthood) and (blessed you with a great deal of) mercy (most clearly appreciated during old age) between you. There are certainly signs in this for people who contemplate (people who have insight)”
 
2)     Recite the following verse of the Qur’an 11 times every day[3]:
 
وَأَلَّفَ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِهِمْ لَوْ أَنْفَقْتَ مَا فِي الْأَرْضِ جَمِيْعًا مَّا أَلَّفْتَ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِهِمْ وَلَكِنَّ اللهَ أَلَّفَ بَيْنَهُمْ إِنَّهُ عَزِيْزٌ حَكِيْمٌ
 
Transliteration:
 
“wa allafa bayna quloobihim law anfaqta maa fil ardi jamee’a maa allafta bayna quloobihim wa lakin Allaha allafa baynahum innahu azeezun hakeem”
 
Translation:
 
“And (He) created the bond of love (harmony) between their hearts. If you had spent whatever (wealth and resources) is in the earth, you will not have been able to create that bond between them. Verily He is Mighty (can do whatever He wants), the Wise (in creating the bond of love between people).”
 
3)     Recite the following Qur’an verse 11 times after every Fardh Salaah[4]:
 
 
وَنَزَعْنَا مَا فِيْ صُدُوْرِهِمْ مِنْ غِلٍّ إِخْوَانًا عَلَى سُرُرٍ مُتَقَابِلِيْنَ 
 
Transliteration:
 
“wa naza’naa maa fi sudoorihim min ghillin ikhwaanan ‘ala suroorin mutaqaabileen”
 
Translation:
 
“We shall remove any ill-feelings (hatred and animosity towards other Muslims) that may be in their breasts. As brothers (with love and affection for each other) they (the people of Jannah) will be seated on couches, facing each other (as equals)”
 
4)     Recite the following dua’ every day:
 
اللَّهُمَّ أَلِّفْ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِنَا وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنَا وَاهْدِنَا سُبُلَ السَّلَامِ وَنَجِّنَا مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّوْرِ وَجَنِّبْنَا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِيْ أَسْمَاعِنَا وَأَبْصَارِنَا وَقُلُوْبِنَا وَأَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيْمُ وَاجْعَلْنَا شَاكِرِيْنَ لِنِعْمَتِكَ مُثْنِيْنَ بِهَا قَابِلِيْهَا وَأَتِمَّهَا عَلَيْنَا
 
Transliteration:
 
“allahumma allif bayna quloobinaa wa aslih thaata bayninaa wahdinaa subul as salaam wa najjinaa minaz zulumaati ilan noori wa jannibnal fawaahisha maa zahara minhaa wa maa batana wa baarik lanaa fi asmaa’inaa wa absaarinaa wa quloobinaa wa azwaajinaa wa thurri yaatinaa wa tub alaynaa innaka antat tawwaab al raheem waj’alna shaakireena lini’ matika muthneena bihaa qaabileehaa wa atammahaa alaynaa”
 
Translation:
 
“O Allah, join our hearts, mend our social relationship, guide us to the path of peace, bring us from darkness to light, save us from obscenities, outward or inward, and bless our ears, our eyes, our hearts, our wives, our children, and relent toward us; you are the Relenting, the Merciful. Make us grateful for your blessing and make us praise it while accepting it and give it to us in full.”[5]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best 
Muadh Chati
Student Darul Iftaa
Blackburn, England, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.