Question Summary:
can a husband touch, insert his fingers in her wife’s private parts during foreplay.(Is this act considered as modesty).

Question Detail:

Assalamulaikum Mufti sahab, I have three questions
1) can a husband touch, insert his fingers in her wife's private parts during foreplay.(Is this act considered as modesty).
2) can a husband put some jam or honey on his wife breast and some other parts (not on private parts) and lick from there.(Is this act considered as modesty).
3) can a husband put his private part in between his wifes breast and between his wifes buttocks during foreplay.(Is this act considered as modesty).

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Alaah Ta’ala says in the holy Quran; “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when and how you will”. (02:223)
The need for intimacy between spouses is natural.  However, it should be fulfilled with shame, modesty and dignity.  Whilst foreplay is permissible, the other issues referred in your e-mail are extremely disrespectful.
Sharia emphasizes on shame and modesty. 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said; The door to all virtue is modesty”. ( Muslim, Vol. 2. Pg.48. Maktaba Thanwi Deoband )
Modesty is part of iman (faith). (Bukhari, Vol.2.Pg.203 Qadimi kutub khana)
The Ulama have stated that modesty repels one from disgraceful and repugnant things.
(Daleel-Al-Falehen-Li-Turuqi-Reyad-As-Salehen, Vol.3. Pg 149-150)
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Ml. Safraz Mohammed,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah