Question Summary:
Can a girl marry without consent of her father?

Question Detail:

Can a girl marry without consent of her father? If her father refuses for no valid reason in shariah to give permission can she take permission from any of her mahrams?
What are other ways to give mahr instead of giving cash? If a person promises his wife he will do a certain ibadah and change for the better, can this be donr in exchange of mahr if the wife requests so? What is the minimum mahr in hanafi fiqh? 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
In principle, Shariah permits an adult female to make an independent choice in marriage.[1] She does not require the approval of her father for the validity of the marriage. While it is understood that that a woman has the right to express her choice to whom she would like to marry, however, one must also understand that the purpose of marriage is to attain peace, tranquility and happiness. Consider the following verse:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ (سورة الروم، ٢١)
And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect. [Surah ar-Rum, 21]
 
In order to ensure that one lives a blissful marriage, it is essential that one earns the happiness of one’s parents. The guidance of one’s parents is solely based on love and keeping the well-being and future of their children in mind. Parents always wish the best for their children especially when it comes to their daughter. There is always khair (goodness) in understanding the concerns and objections from our parents.
It is unsound for the father to refuse the marriage if he does not have any valid reason for the refusal. This results in unnecessary animosity, anger, hatred and sadly the breaking up of family ties for a prolonged period of time.
If positive results were shown in making istikhara for this proposal then the father should also be encouraged to make istikhara and reconsider his decision.
The girl in reference should try to reason with her father. It is not wise to go against the father’s wishes. Showing indifferences to his decision and moving forward with the proposal will be a display of mistrust in his eyes. Getting married without the father’s consent will create ill feelings towards the daughter.
Alternatively, one may ask the senior family members to speak to the father and convince him to change his view of the matter.
2. In principle, the mahr (dowry) may be specified in terms of currency, jewellery, land, trade commodities and other items of value[2] provided that its value is equivalent to 10 dirhams and above. The minimum amount of mahr is 10 dirhams[3] (31 grams of silver).
It is impermissible to offer mahr in the form of a certain type of ‘ibaadah as it is not a form of valuable asset.[4]
(Note: one may evaluate 31 grams of silver to obtain the specific amount of minimum mahr on the day of payment.)
 
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai                                                                                                                                                                                                                
www.Daruliftaa.net