Question Summary:
What is the definitive ruling on this matter? And can such gatherings ever be halal and consistent with what is Islamic?

Question Detail:

My mother every year without fail holds a gathering where family and some friends pray Quran/Yaseen for my deceased grandmother around the time she passed away. These gatherings have almost become a celebration where most of my relatives do not even participate in prayer but rather come for the food. I have on many occasions told her that in continuing to hold these get-togethers her actions are not consistent with Islamic practice. She has accepted that some do regard such events as haram but considers that there is a difference of opinion on the matter and that essentially it is an act of worship on my grandmother’s behalf.
 
What is the definitive ruling on this matter? And can such gatherings ever be halal and consistent with what is Islamic?

Answer :

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Reciting the Holy Quran or making Thikr, and sending the reward to the deceased is meritorious. However, hosting and attending such gatherings in which the Holy Quran is recited specifically for the deceased has no basis in the Shari’a and should not be thought of as an Islamic practice.
 
Maintaining family ties is vitally important. Rasululah صلى الله عليه و سلم has said:
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم لا يدخل الجنة قاطع
 
“One who severs family ties will not enter Jannah.” (Tirmidhi)
 
Therefore, instead of hosting a get together for your deceased grandmother, make the niyyat that the gathering be held to upkeep family ties. In this way, you will be fulfilling a very important aspect of Shari’a, as well as having the family get together. 
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
Ml. Zakariyya bin Ahmed,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah