Question Summary:
i m realy ashamed of myslf. i wanted to comit suicide but too is haram in islam. i m very restless. i did tauba n promised maslf never to do it again. please kindly tell me what should i do. i just wana die…i m so scared af azab e qabr and azab e jahanum. Question Detail:
my question is that a few days one of my friend forced me to show him my private part. i was reluctant and told him that i cant do that but he insisted me and after that i dont know what hapened to me and i showed him on live camera on internet. he said that its not wrong but i know it is. i m realy ashamed of myslf. i wanted to comit suicide but too is haram in islam. i m very restless. i did tauba n promised maslf never to do it again. please kindly tell me what should i do. i just wana die. i m so scared af azab e qabr and azab e jahanum.
Answer :
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Alhamdulillāh, now that you realize your sin and have made sincere repentance, first, you should realize the mercy of Allāh Ta’ālā and not despair from it.
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ (الزمر: 53)
Say, “O Slaves of Mine who have transgressed against themselves! Do not despair from the mercy of Allāh. Verily, Allāh forgives all sins. Truly, he is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Qur’ān 39:53)
You should not think that Allāh Ta’ālā has not forgiven or will not forgive you for your sin. Rather, as Allāh Ta’ālā says to the sinning person, referring to him/her as His slave, that Allāh Ta’ālā is al-Ghafūr (Oft-Forgiving) and al-Rahīm (Most Merciful). One should find peace and comfort in this āyāh and not remain depressed about their sin, entertaining further and more severe harām acts, such as suicide.
Next, you should immediately separate yourself from the initial harām act that lead you to commit sins, which is not maintaining the laws of hijāb (purdah) from non-mahram males. It is not permissible to take a male, non-mahram friend. This is a violation of the laws of Allāh Ta’ālā and is bound to lead to shameful and inappropriate acts. You should immediately cut off relations with this “friend” of yours, for leaving the sin and not being persistent on it is one of the conditions of tawbah.
وَالَّذِينَ إِذَا فَعَلُوا فَاحِشَةً أَوْ ظَلَمُوا أَنْفُسَهُمْ ذَكَرُوا اللَّهَ فَاسْتَغْفَرُوا لِذُنُوبِهِمْ وَمَنْ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَلَمْ يُصِرُّوا عَلَى مَا فَعَلُوا وَهُمْ يَعْلَمُونَ (آل عمران: 135)
And those who, when they commit a shameful deed or wrong themselves, remember Allāh and seek forgiveness for their sins. And who forgives sins except for Allāh? And they do not persist in what they have done, while they know. (Qur’ān 3:135)
Furthermore, you should realize the importance of keeping good company and harms of keeping an evil one. Allāh Ta’ālā says in the Qur’ān:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ (التوبة: 119)
O you who believe! Fear Allāh and be with those who are truthful (Qur’ān 9:119)
As further emphasis on the importance of choosing good friends, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
حدثنا ابن بشار حدثنا أبو عامر وأبو داود قالا حدثنا زهير بن محمد قال حدثنى موسى بن وردان عن أبى هريرة أن النبى -صلى الله عليه وسلم- قال « الرجل على دين خليله فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل
(سنن أبي داود، كتاب الأدب، باب من يؤمر أن يجالس: 4/407؛ العربي)
A man is on the religion of his close friend, so let one of you see who see he takes as a close friend (Abū Dāwūd)
However, if one chooses bad friends who take him/her away from Allāh Ta’ālā instead of bringing them closer, then he/she might seriously regret this choice in the Hereafter.
يَا وَيْلَتَى لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا (28) لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنْسَانِ خَذُولًا (الفرقان: 28-29)
Ah! Woe to me! I wish I had not taken so-and-so as a close friend. Surely, he has led me astray from the Message after it had come to me. Verily, Shaytān is a traitor to man (Qur’ān 25:28-29)
In addition, you may take extra steps to ensure the forgiveness of yours sins. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم advised us:
حدثنا محمد بن بشار حدثنا عبد الرحمن بن مهدي حدثنا سفيان عن حبيب بن أبي ثابت عن ميمون بن أبي شيب عن ابي ذر قال : قال لي رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم اتق الله حيثما كنت وأتبع السيئة الحسنة تمحها وخالق الناس بخلق حسن
(سنن الترمذي، كتاب البر والصلة، باب معاشرة الناس: 4/355؛ إحياء التراث)
Fear Allāh wherever you may be, follow-up a bad deed with a good one for it will erase it, and treat people with excellent etiquettes (Tirmidhī)
Therefore, in order to erase your bad deed, you should make an effort to increase you good deeds. These good deeds may include additional prayers, dhikr, tilāwah of the Qur’ān, being more respectful to your parents, etc. You may also give some sadaqah, according to your capabilities, as this cools the anger of Allāh Ta’ālā.
حدثنا عقبة بن مكرم العمي البصري حدثنا عبد الله بن عيسى الخزاز البصري عن يونس بن عبيد عن الحسن عن أنس بن مالك : قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم إن الصدقة لتطفئ غضب الرب وتدفع عن ميته السوء
(سنن الترمذي، كتاب الزكاة، باب فضل الصدقة: 3/52؛ إحياء التراث)
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “Verily, charity cools the Lord’s anger and prevents an evil death” (Tirmidhī)
After taking note and following up on all the above points, you should not remain depressed, but rather have hope in and expectation from Allāh Ta’ālā that He has forgiven you. This incident should not be a means of wanting to end your life. Rather, it should be that event in your life which caused you to live as a better, more God-fearing Muslim.
Yet, if, despite all this, you still feel sadness and grief, then you may also recite the following du’ā:
اللّهُمَّ إنِّي عَبْدُكَ وَابْنُ عَبْدِكَ وابْنُ أمَتِكَ ناصِيَتِيْ بِيَدِكَ ماضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضاؤُكَ أسْألُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أوْ أنْزَلْتَهُ فِيْ كِتابِكَ أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِكَ أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِيْ عِلْمِ الْغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ الْقُرْآنَ الْعَظِيْمَ رَبِيْعَ قَلْبِيْ وَنُوْرَ بَصَرِيْ وَجِلاءَ حُزْنِيْ وَذَهابَ هَمِّيْ
O Allāh, I am your servant, son of your servant, son of your [female] servant. My forelock is in your hands (i.e. I am under your complete control). Your decrees are bound to prevail on me and your judgments about me are just. I ask you by every name You have given Yourself, revealed in Your book, taught anyone of Your creation, or You alone have knowledge of, that you make the Glorious Qur’ān a source of delight for my heart, the light of my eyes, and the healer of my grief and worry (al-Hisnul Hasin, pg. 176-177; Islamic Promotions)
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah
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