Question Summary:
Am I at sin for pushing my parents to sell their house?

Question Detail:

i always have arguments with my mother which ends in fight and then i feel guilt.i asses myself if i am at the zalim side.my anger with my mother is gambling,for years i asked,begged and fought with her to stop it and don't spoil other my younger brother and sister.lots of money they lost,never learned lesson.she on other hand has anger for me as i stop her and that i am the reason they had to sell their home. they borrowed money from me ,to renovate house to sell, i asked 3 times to confirm they want to sell,so i gave them.they changed their mind i then pushed them to give me money,they sold house. am i at sin

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
 
As-salāmu `alaykumwa-rahmatullāhiwa-barakātuh.
 
We have analyzed your question and would like to draw your attention to the following:
 
You state that you always have arguments with your mother which ends up in a fight and you feel guilty about it.
 
Shariah emphasizes the importance of respecting one’s parents. Always show respect to one’s parents. Do not let your religiousness affect your relationship with your parents.
 
Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) says:
 
و وصينا الانسان بوالديه احسانا
 
“And we have enjoined upon Mankind showing compassion to parents” (Surah al- Ankaboot, chapter 29, verse 8)
 
 
The aforementioned verse clearly advocates the importance of showing respect to ones parents.
 
Always examine yourself when dealing with one’s parents to see whether you have violated this cardinal principle or not.
 
Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said:
 
فَالْزَمْهَا، فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ تَحْتَ رِجْلَيْهَا
“Hold firmly onto her, for verily Jannah lies under the feet of the mother”. (Sunan al- Nasa’ie, Vol.6, Pg.11, Al- Matboo’aath al – Islamiyyah, second edition, 1406)
 
 
You state that your anger with your mother is gambling.
 
Shariah emphasises one to look at the sin and not the sinner, By looking at the faults of others, Takabbur(pride) and Ujb (vanity/conceit) slowly breeds within the Nafs of a person. Thereafter, these diseases give way to anger, hatred, malice, hasad e.t.c making it difficult for one to control the Nafs.
 
Explain to your mother the importance of obeying the dictates of the Shariah.
 
It may be a good idea to contact a Social Support centre where they might help your mother with her problem.
 
Certain countries offer gambling rehabilitation centres, you may contact them for help.
 
It may be a good idea to obtain some booklets on the harms and ill effects of gambling and keep it within close proximity of your mother.
 
Employ Hikmah (wisdom) when dealing with one’s parents. Always be diplomatic in your approach towards your parents. You might have the right objective and aim in mind, but the method of conveying the message across maybe totally incorrect and not suitable to the situation. Always deploy wisdom when dealing with such serious matters.
 
Be diplomatic and tactful in your approach towards your mother and try to win her over rather than trying to force her into leaving the sin of gambling.
 
You state that you pushed them to give you money and they sold their house.
 
We are unaware of the full background regarding the above issue in reference; therefore we cannot comment on the specifics of the issue in reference.
 
Nevertheless, if you disobeyed or disrespected your parents during the entire episode in reference, then you have committed a major sin for which Tawba and Istighfaar is necessary.
 
If you did not disobey nor disrespect your parents during the entire episode, you are not at fault and did not commit any sin.
 
Always keep the pleasure and respect of your parents a priority in life. By doing so, you will earn the ultimate pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala).
 
And Allah knows best.
 
Ismail Desai
Durban, South Africa
Student Darul Iftaa
 
Checked and Concurred
Moulana Faraz Ibn Adam
Leicester, UK
Student Darul Iftaa
Daruliftaa.net