Question Summary:
Am I allowed to enter into a Misyar marriage with another woman simply for her to conceive a child for me via IVF? Question Detail:
I have been married for 10yrs.and we don't have any children. Consulted many doctors, Alhamdulillah they didn't find any issue with either me or my wife. But after many years, doctors suggested us to go for IUI, we did that, still no success. So they suggested to go for IVF, we did that, still no success. Just to add one thing here, as suggested by you and other ulema we followed all the guidelines to ensure we do IVF and IUI the right away like Lady Doctor and wife helping in taking out the semen, etc.
Anyway, then we consulted some Ulema and amil too, thinking that it might be other problem. Still no success. After all that, the only way out left for me was to either adopt or go for second marriage as like any other individual I also want to have my own kids etc... I suggested that to my wife, she disagreed and wanted to go for khula. My question is in these circumstances, a thought came to the mind, don't know whether right or wrong.
Is there a possibility of me doing a Misyar marriage with another lady and not getting into a physical relationship with her, rather perform IVF, what I mean to say is, my semen and the other lady's egg be hatched in the other lady's womb. In this scenario, my wife may allow as she says she can't tolerate me having physical relationship with another woman.
My query may sound like surrogacy but I don't want any haram act, what I want to know is by having Misyar marriage and then having IVF with that lady be an option in my circumstance. Please advise Mufti Saheb
Answer :
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We acknowledge your disappointment on failing to receive an answer from us. Unfortunately, we did not receive a question from you. It is possible you may have had submitted your question after the quota elapsed, or we failed to receive your question due to some other technical issue.
We hope the following points help you in reaching your outcome:
We understand you and your wife may have become despondent after failing in your efforts to conceive. However, entertain hope and belief in Allah. Allah is the provider of children. Supplicate to Allah and he will bestow. Allah Ta`ala says:
Translation: To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He grants females to whom He wills, and males to whomever He pleases, or grants them a combination of males and females, and makes whomever He pleases to be barren. He is All- Knowing, All-Powerful[1].
Allah also says:
Translation: Ask forgiveness of your Lord, verily He is the most Forgiving. He will send rain to you in abundance and provide you with money and children, and orchards, and streams[2].
Abu Saeed al-Khudri (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrates that once the prophet of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about Azal (a form of contraception). He (peace be upon him) replied, “A child is not born from every drop of sperm, but rather when Allah decides to create something, nothing can prevent Allah Ta’ala from creating it.[3]”
Allah Ta`ala possesses the ultimate and sole power to bring a child into existence. The decree of Allah prevails all efforts. There are many cases where married couples exploit all avenues to conceive a child, but Allah Ta’ala does not decree for them to have any children. On the contrary, there are many who undertake all means to avoid conceiving a child via contraception etc., but the decree of Allah Ta’ala is to bless them with a child. Hence, if it is destined for a couple to conceive a child then it will surely come in its due time[4]. Remember, there are many couples who conceives after many years of exerting all efforts.
Allah will open avenues for you. You may also pray Salaat al-Haajah. The following is the method of the prayer[5]:
· Make perfect ablution
· Observe two Rak`aat Salaah
· Praise Allah
· Send salutations on Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
· Recite the following supplication:
لاإله إلا الله الحليم الكريم سبحان الله رب العرش العظيم الحمد لله رب العالمين أسئلك موجبات رحمتك وعزائم مغفرتك والغنيمة من كل بر والسلامة من كل إثم لا تدع لي ذنبا الا غفرته ولا هما إلا فرجته ولا حاجة هي لك رضا إلا قضيتها يا أرحم الراحمين
Transliteration: Laa ilaaha illallaahul haleemul kareem subhanallahi Rabbil arshil azeem alhamdu lillahi Rabbil aalameen as`aluka moojibaati rahmatika wa azaa`ima maghfiratika wal ganeemata min kulli birrin was salaamata min kulli ithmin laa tada` lee zamban illa ghafartahu wa laa hamman illa farrajtahu wa laa haajatan hiya laka riza illa qadhaytahaa ya arhamar Raahemeen.
Translation: There is no deity but Allah the Clement and Wise. Pure is Allah, Lord of the Tremendous Throne. All praise is to Allah, Lord of the worlds. I ask you (O Allah) everything that leads to your mercy, and your tremendous forgiveness, enrichment in all good, and freedom from all sin. Do not leave a sin of mine (O Allah), except that you forgive it, nor any concern except that You create for it an opening, nor any need in which there is your good pleasure except that you fulfill it, O Most Merciful[6].
The inauguration of marriage is built on mutual love and fulfilment of rights. It is against the philosophy of Islam to marry a woman with the intent of not sharing any conjugal relationship but to solely use her to her carry your sperm and deliver a child for you. Islam preserves the sanctity of each human and does not allow for the woman to be treated as a product. There are some fundamental answers to be answered:
What will happen to the second wife after she has successfully delivered a child for you or if perchance the first wife falls pregnant?
If the second wife does not conceive, will she be then given a divorce or she would be maintained in a wedlock half-heartedly?
What if the child is born abnormal?
Who will look after and raise the child?
What if the child grows up and wants to be with his genetic mother or with both the parents unitedly?
What if? What if? …
The inauguration of marriage is built on mutual love and fulfilment of rights. The Qur’an says:
Translation: And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.[7]"
Allah Ta`ala also says:
Translation: O Humans fear your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person created of like nature its mate, and from this scattered (like seeds) countless men and women. Fear Allah through whom you claim your mutual rights[8].
The objective and the goal of marriage in Islam is to enable the spouses to dwell in peace and tranquillity which is achieved through equity, equality, and fulfilment of mutual rights. Marriage binds the spouses and leads them to live a common life and form a family that develops into a deep spiritual and sentimental relationship. Marriage is not merely an instrument for legalizing for a sperm cell to be fertilised and inseminated in the womb of a woman, but it is an agreement which unites the very existence of the husband and wife and gives a new colour to their life. It turns them into a couple instead of single individuals and makes them complementary to each other.
You have expressed your desire to marry another woman and fulfil your ambition of having a child via IVF with her. At the outset, it is not guaranteed that even IVF will be successful. Many couples are married, but cannot conceive and many married couples have so many children that they abandon and neglect them. IVF, or In Vitro Fertilization, is permissible according to Shari'ah only when it involves the insemination of the husband`s sperm into his own wife`s womb and only when a cannot conceive the natural way and this has been confirmed by her doctor. In reference to your question, the treatment cannot be used as the ultimate instrument to deliver a child[9].
Finally, the entire procedure amounts to dehumanizing the process of human procreation by reducing womb down to the level of a commodity that can be bought or rented for service. Ultimately, such a process, yet again, violates the dignity and honour that Allah Almighty has bestowed on man and woman.
The concept of Misyaar marriage is void of fulfilling many fundamental rights of the spouses and, in your case, reducing the institution of Nikah to merely fulfilling only one partner`s wish. Every person should be the judge of himself as to whether such a marriage of this nature conform to the teachings of our prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Hanif Yusuf Patel
Student Darul Iftaa
UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
[1] لله ملك السّموات والأرض يخلق مايشاء يهب لمن يشاء إناثا ويهب لمن يشاء الذكور أو يزوجهم ذكرانا وإناثا ويجعل من يشاء عقيما إنه عليم قدير
[Al-Qur`an, 42: 49-50]
[2] استغفروا ربكم إنه كان غفارا يرسل السماء عليكم مدرارا ويمددكم بأموال وبنين ويجعل لكم جنات ويجعل لكم أنهارا فقلت
[Al-Qur`an, 71:10-12]
[3] عن أبي سعيد الخدري سمعه يقول: سئل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عن العزل؟ فقال: ما من كل الماء يكون الولد ، إذا أراد الله خلق شيء لم يمنعه شيء
[Sahih Muslim, 2977]
[4] [Mazaahirul Haq Jadeed Sharh Mishkat al-Masabih, 3: 322]
[5] حدثنا على بن عيسى بن يزيد البغدادي اخبرنا عبد الله بن بكر السهمى اخبرنا عبد الله بن منير عن عبد الله بن بكر عن فائد بن عبد الرحمن بن عبد الله بن ابى اوفى قال : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم (من كانت له إلى الله حاجة أو إلى احد من بنى آدم فليتوضأ وليحسن الوضوء ثم ليصل ركعتين ثم ليثن على الله وليصل على النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ثم ليقل : لا إله إلا الله الحليم الكريم ، سبحان الله رب العرش العظيم الحمد لله رب العالمين ، اسالك موجبات رحمتك وعزائم مغفرتك والغنيمة من كل بر ، والسلامة من كل اثم ، لا تدع لى ذنبا إلا غفرته ولا هما إلا فرجته ، ولا حاجة هي لك رضا إلا قضيتها يا ارحم الراحمين) . قال أبو عيسى : هذا حديث غريب في إسناده مقال فائد بن عبد الرحمن يضعف في الحديث
[6] [Sunan at-Tirmidhi, 477]
[7] ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون
[Al-Qur`an, 30: 21}
[8] يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيرا ونساء واتقوا الله الذي تساءلون به والأرحام إن الله كان عليكم رقيبا
[Al-Qur`an, 4: 1]
[9] [Jami'ul Fatawa, 1: 469, Rabbani Book Depot]
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