Question Summary:
Advice on husband wanting to leave after seven years of marriage

Question Detail:

I am a 48 year old female convert I married a man 18 years younger only a nikah was done at a mosque in ....... 7 years ago . We have no children .. I am white British he is Pakistanis . Not many people know of our nikah marraige . He is very private . His parents think he's single.His family don't know of me and he said they will never know of me! , 2 weeks ago he said he has no feeling for me anymore and hasn't for a long time.
He wants to move on he said and ave family , and his parents would disown him if they found out about me , now I'm only asking as I feel helpless here and broken hearted . Have I got a say in any of this like . He's going to take another bride . And I'm just dumped that's unfair . He's still at my home living but will be gone in few days . Can you give me some advice please?

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,  
We are sorry to hear your plight. We make du‘a that Allah eases your pain and brings you peace, comfort and happiness. Aameen.
It is through such incidents that we realise the wisdom of the instruction of Nabī Kareem (sallAllāhu ‘alayhi wasallam): “Make  Nikāh public.” [1] If your husband had been publically committed to you, there would have been little scope for him to have treated you in this way. It was incorrect of both yourself and your husband to have kept the marriage a secret.
Nonetheless, you should bear in mind that your husband was young when he married you, and having not informed his family must have caused him a lot of strain. If he no longer has feelings for you, and wishes to move on, there is little that you can do. It may, however, be advisable to seek guidance from a local imam and try to persuade him to go with you.
In the end, have trust in the qadr (decree) of Allah Ta‘ala, and know that He knows what is better for you. Allah Ta‘āla says: “O you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayer. Verily, Allah is with the patient.” (Qur’an, 2:153) This verse teaches us that through Salah (prayer) and Sabr (patience) we can draw the assistance of Allah. Hence, turn to Allah and supplicate to Him, particularly at the time of Tahajjud. Make du‘a to Allah Ta‘āla that if this marriage does not work out, to replace your husband with someone better. Do not become disheartened, and observe patience. Remember that Allah tests those that He loves [2]. To have the blessing of Islam and Iman is a great favour from Allah, and this is perhaps an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with Him, by turning to Him and increasing worship of Him.
 
 [1]
قال رسول الله صلى الله وليه وسلم: أعلنوا هذا النكاح واجعلوه فى المساجد واضربوا عليه بالدفوف، رواه الترمذي
مشكاة المصابيح مع مرقاة المفاتيح، دار الفكر، ٥:٢٠٧٢
 [2]
عن سعد قال: سئل النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: أي الناس أشد بلاء؟ قال: الأنبياء ثم الأمثل فالأمثل، يبتلى الرجل على حسب دينه...رواه الترمذي وابن ماجه والدارمي وقال الترمذي: هذا حديث حسن صحيح
مشكاة المصابيح، المكتب الإسلامي، ١:٤٩٢
And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best
Zameelur Rahman
Student Darul Iftaa
UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.