Question Summary:
Advice on choosing a religious husband

Question Detail:

 
I have a sister who is older than me, My father is not involved in her life so I am her guardian before marriage. I have been approached by a young man regarding my sister for marriage, I have had a meeting with him and asked him the relevant questions to find out if he is practising amongst other things that one should ask.
My problem is the brother does not practise and one who has no fear of ALLAH SWT can cause fitna for my sister. He only prays Jummah.
I have informed my sister about this muslim and she has done istikhara and my sister prays 5 times a day but does not wear a hijab.
My sister is also interested in this person as she is 32 and unmarried and is deppressed about not being married.
What should I do? I am confused?
I want to say no as he is not practising but I also want to say yes to protect her from zina and other haraams.
The man did not even seem like he was willing to start practising so i need some advise as my sister wants to go ahead with it.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Marriage is indeed a big step in one’s life. The fundamental purpose in marriage for both spouses is to attain peace and comfort through each other.  In choosing a spouse all related issues must be carefully contemplated.
We recognise the difficulties your sister is facing. However she should not simply get married because she is 32 and now someone proposed to her. The most important quality one should seek in a husband is Imaan and conscious of Deen and Allah Ta’ala. A person who is conscious of Allah Ta’ala will be sensitive to the needs and comforts of his wife.
You mentioned the man did not even seem willing to start practicing Deen. That is a dangerous attitude. Your sister cannot discount the negative implications of such an attitude in her marriage. Apart from violating her personal needs, her Imaan and Amaal could be negatively affected.
In choosing a spouse exercise precaution, never ever rush in committing to marriage if one is unsure. How many women are in misery despite being married…would she prefer being single without problems or married with problems?
Our advice to your sister is that she exercises Sabr (patience) and implore Allah Ta’ala in Dua . She should also ensure that all commands of Allah and laws of Shari’ah, including Hijab, are properly fulfilled. This would attract the mercy and blessings of Allah Ta’ala.
“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty), and will provide for him from where he never even imagined. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, Allah is sufficient for him.”Qur’an 65:2-3
 
Also the following Duas may be recited for attaining a suitable spouse,
 
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا  
Our Sustainer, Grant us the coolness of our eyes from our spouses and children, and make us leaders of the pious.” (Qurān 25:74)
 
رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ
O My Rabb! Indeed I am needy of whatever good you bestow on me. (Qurān 28:24)
 
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Arshad Ali
Student Darul Iftaa
Trinidad
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
http://www.daruliftaa.net/