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Divorce in state of anger

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I am in lot of pain right now. I was married in 2004 on my choice with my cousin but my mother has not accepted her from the very first day. My mother maintained a very strict behaviour with her while I tried to balance the situation all the time. My wife compromised on lot of things such as not going to her siblings marriages and not going to see her ill father. Now, after 10 years of her marriage with me and due to continuous stress she got, she started replying in high tone to my mother. Sir, they regularly fought and i was trying to cool down the situation all the time but my mother had recently maintained a stance that she is not willing to stay in home with me if my wife stays here. My mother said that if i will keep my wife here then she will leave the home.
Sir, in these 10 years i tried my level best to balance the relation but conditions got worst. My wife is not a bad woman, she use to take care of my mother once she was ill but i do not know what had gone wrong with my mother as she maintained such arogant behaviour with my wife. Sir, the issue is this that my father expired when i was probably 2 years old and i have no brother or sister.
My mother brought me up and she is very possessive about me. Sir, on 22nd June 2014, my wife and mother had extreme fight and i was trying to stop them. During the fight my mother provoked me a lot. The limit was reached in anger where I was about to kill them all (including children) as I grabbed them from their throats, even I searched for a knife to kill them. Sir, because of getting continous stress, being out of control in extreme anger and without having prior intention of divorce i said to my wife that, “Mainy tumhain or tum kou (1 out of these words) talak di, Mainy tumhain or tum kou (1 out of these words) talak di, Mainy tumhain or tum kou (1 out of these words) talak di” in one go and probably within 10-15 seconds. Sir, my wife heard these words and she was having her periods since 17th June 2014 and it was her 6th day (22nd June 2014) of periods, she was not clean as she did not take the bath, she takes bath on 7th day of periods. I was not knowing that she is having periods as she was hospitalized probably on 20th June 2014 as she took few pills inorder to kill herself after getting disheart from my mother’s behaviour who tourchered her mentally by saying that my wife is misbehaving with her.
Sir, my wife did not tell me as well regarding her periods. Sir, I was in extreme anger because of that fight and due to continuous stress been given to me by the fight i did this act in extreme anger. I had no prior intention to divorce my wife during the fight. My mother said it many times that i have done a big mistake by marrying my wife and she even said that I should get second marriage. All the situation arised because my wife became frustrated and took tablets inorder to kill herself and she was admitted in hospital. I brought her to home on 22nd June 2014 and my mother said that she will leave the home if i keep my wife here. They both had a fight like i cannot explain, I tried to stop them from fighting and in this extreme tense and anger situation i did that act. Sir, please guide and let me know answer of following questions :- 
Question : 1) Was the divorce I gave is valid for 3 times or will it be counted as 1 talak ?
Question : 2) Was the divorce valid because my wife was also having periods (6th day) and I was not knowing about her periods ?
Question : 3) Was the divorce I gave is valid because it was given in such an extreme condition of anger where I nearly lost my senses and was even ready to kill my family with my own hands which a nomral person in senses cannot think of doing ?
Question : 4) Do i have a chance of continuing my marriage again with the type of talak I gave or my marriage is over with my wife ?
Sir, I have 2 sons and their life will be ruined. Sir, please help me out in this desperate situation as i feel like killing myself, thanks and regards.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We take note of the contents of your email and sympathise with you. To maintain a balance between your mother and wife is challenging and require a lot of patience.
In determining the validity of your marriage and the divorce statements, the level of your anger at the time of uttering the statements have to be considered.  
If you were so angry that you did not know or recall what you said at the time of the incident and was told by your wife what you said, then your anger reached the level of insanity and as such the divorce statements are invalid. Accordingly, your Nikah remains valid.
If you not angry to the extent as explained above and you knew and understood what you said, but you were overwhelmed to the extent that you had no normal control of your speech, then too the Talaq will not be valid. In deciding your condition, you should fear Allah and decide accordingly. [1]
With regards to divorce in the state of menses, the same way three talaqs in one sitting is sinful but if one does so, the talaq is valid and comes into effect, the same applies regarding talaq in the state of menses. [2]
We make Dua Allah Ta’ala grants you comfort and happiness and makes easy for you whatever is best. Ameen.
Please note this Fatwa is specific to this case and not for public consumption.
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Arshad Ali
Student Darul Iftaa
Trinidad
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

http://www.daruliftaa.net/
 
 
 


[1] الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 244)

وَلِلْحَافِظِ ابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ الْحَنْبَلِيِّ رِسَالَةٌ فِي طَلَاقِ الْغَضْبَانِ قَالَ فِيهَا: إنَّهُ عَلَى ثَلَاثَةِ أَقْسَامٍ: أَحَدُهَا أَنْ يَحْصُلَ لَهُ مَبَادِئُ الْغَضَبِ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَتَغَيَّرُ عَقْلُهُ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَيَقْصِدُهُ، وَهَذَا لَا إشْكَالَ فِيهِ. وَالثَّانِي أَنْ يَبْلُغَ النِّهَايَةَ فَلَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ، فَهَذَا لَا رَيْبَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْفُذُ شَيْءٌ مِنْ أَقْوَالِهِ.

الثَّالِثُ مَنْ تَوَسَّطَ بَيْنَ الْمَرْتَبَتَيْنِ بِحَيْثُ لَمْ يَصِرْ كَالْمَجْنُونِ فَهَذَا مَحَلُّ النَّظَرِ، وَالْأَدِلَّةُ عَلَى عَدَمِ نُفُوذِ أَقْوَالِهِ. اهـ. مُلَخَّصًا مِنْ شَرْحِ الْغَايَةِ الْحَنْبَلِيَّةِ، لَكِنْ أَشَارَ فِي الْغَايَةِ إلَى مُخَالَفَتِهِ فِي الثَّالِثِ حَيْثُ قَالَ: وَيَقَعُ الطَّلَاقُ مِنْ غَضَبٍ خِلَافًا لِابْنِ الْقَيِّمِ اهـ وَهَذَا الْمُوَافِقُ عِنْدَنَا لِمَا مَرَّ فِي الْمَدْهُوشِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ أَنَّا لَمْ نَعْتَبِرْ أَقْوَالَ الْمَعْتُوهِ مَعَ أَنَّهُ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَصِلَ إلَى حَالَةٍ لَا يَعْلَمُ فِيهَا مَا يَقُولُ وَلَا يُرِيدُهُ وَقَدْ يُجَابُ بِأَنَّ الْمَعْتُوهَ لَمَّا كَانَ مُسْتَمِرًّا عَلَى حَالَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ يُمْكِنُ ضَبْطُهَا اُعْتُبِرَتْ فِيهِ وَاكْتُفِيَ فِيهِ بِمُجَرَّدِ نَقْصِ الْعَقْلِ، بِخِلَافِ الْغَضَبِ فَإِنَّهُ عَارِضٌ فِي بَعْضِ الْأَحْوَالِ، لَكِنْ يَرِدُ عَلَيْهِ الدَّهَشُ فَإِنَّهُ كَذَلِكَ. وَاَلَّذِي يَظْهَرُ لِي أَنَّ كُلًّا مِنْ الْمَدْهُوشِ وَالْغَضْبَانِ لَا يَلْزَمُ فِيهِ أَنْ يَكُونَ بِحَيْثُ لَا يَعْلَمُ مَا يَقُولُ بَلْ يُكْتَفَى فِيهِ بِغَلَبَةِ الْهَذَيَانِ وَاخْتِلَاطِ الْجَدِّ بِالْهَزْلِ كَمَا هُوَ الْمُفْتَى بِهِ فِي السَّكْرَانِ عَلَى مَا مَرَّ

With regards to giving talaq or divorce in anger the Fuqahaa (jurists) have categorized anger into three stages:

1. The initial stage of anger where one’s mind is sound and fully in control of what one is saying. In such a case talaq will occur without any doubt.
2. Extreme anger to the point of insanity, where one is unaware what he is saying. In such a case talaq will not occur.
3. Finally that stage which is between the above two stages in that one was extremely angry but not to the point of insanity, and was aware of what one was saying. In this case there is difference of opinion.

 

 

 

تنقيح الفتاوى الحامدية (1/ 272)

الدَّهَشُ هُوَ ذَهَابُ الْعَقْلِ مِنْ ذَهْلٍ أَوْ وَلَهٍ وَقَدْ صَرَّحَ فِي التَّنْوِيرِ والتتارخانية وَغَيْرِهِمَا بِعَدَمِ وُقُوعِ طَلَاقِ الْمَدْهُوشِ فَعَلَى هَذَا حَيْثُ حَصَلَ لِلرَّجُلِ دَهَشٌ زَالَ بِهِ عَقْلُهُ وَصَارَ لَا شُعُورَ لَهُ لَا يَقَعُ طَلَاقُهُ وَالْقَوْلُ قَوْلُهُ بِيَمِينِهِ إنْ عُرِفَ مِنْهُ الدَّهَشُ وَإِنْ لَمْ يُعْرَفْ مِنْهُ لَا يُقْبَلُ قَوْلُهُ قَضَاءً إلَّا بِبَيِّنَةٍ كَمَا صَرَّحَ بِذَلِكَ عُلَمَاءُ الْحَنَفِيَّةِ رَحِمَهُمْ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى .

 

[2] الفتاوى الهندية - ط. دار الفكر (1/ 349)

 

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