Question Summary:
Women and Leadership

Question Detail:

are these hadith about women and leadership authentic and what do they mean:
"Men are destroyed when they obey women."
A nation that has entrusted its affairs to a woman can never be successful.
When your rulers are the best among you, your wealthy are generous, and your matters are decided by mutual consultation, then the surface of the earth is better for you than the belly of the earth. However, when your rulers are the worst among you, your wealthy are miserly and your matters are in the hands of your women, then the belly of the earth is better for you than its surface." (Tirmidhi vl.4, pg.459) 

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The first hadith is mentioned by Imam Hākim in his Mustadrak 'Alā as-Sahīhayn in the following words:
 عَنْ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ: أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَتَاهُ بَشِيرٌ يُبَشِّرُهُ بِظَفَرِ خَيْلٍ لَهُ وَرَأْسُهُ فِي حِجْرِ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا فَقَامَ فَخَرَّ لِلَّهِ تَعَالَى سَاجِدًا فَلَمَّا انْصَرَفَ أَنْشَأَ يَسْأَلُ الرَّسُولَ فَحَدَّثَهُ فَكَانَ فِيمَا حَدَّثَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِ الْعَدُوِّ وَكَانَتْ تَلِيهُمُ امْرَأَةٌ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «هَلَكَتِ الرِّجَالُ حِينَ أَطَاعَتِ النِّسَاءَ» 
Abu Bakrah (radiyallahu anhu) narrates that a person came to Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) while his head was in the lap of 'Āishah (radiyallahu anha) giving him good news about the success of his cavalry. (Upon hearing the news) he stood up and fell down in prostration to Allah Ta'ālā. When he was finished, he (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) began asking the messenger questions. And so he told him (many things). From the information he gave about the enemy, he said that a woman used to rule them. The Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) replied: "Men are destroyed when they obey women.".[1]
Although the authenticity of this hadīth may be questionable, Imam Hākim upon narrating this hadīth mentions that there are other ahādīth that support the meaning of this hadīth as mentioned by 'Allāmah Sakhāwī in his al-Maqāsid al-Hasanah[2].
The second hadīth is mentioned by Imam al-Bukhārī in his Sahīh in the following words:
عَنْ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ، قَالَ: لَقَدْ نَفَعَنِي اللَّهُ بِكَلِمَةٍ أَيَّامَ الجَمَلِ، لَمَّا بَلَغَ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّ فَارِسًا مَلَّكُوا ابْنَةَ كِسْرَى قَالَ: «لَنْ يُفْلِحَ قَوْمٌ وَلَّوْا أَمْرَهُمُ امْرَأَةً»
Abu Barkah (radiyallahu anhu) narrates: During the battle of Al-Jamal, Allah benefited me with a Word (I heard from the Prophet). When the Prophet heard the news that the people of the Persia had made the daughter of Khosrau their Queen (ruler), he said, "Never will succeed such a nation that makes a woman their ruler."[3]
This hadīth is authentic.
The third hadīth is mentioned by Imam at-Tirmidhī in his Sunan in the following words:
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: إِذَا كَانَ أُمَرَاؤُكُمْ خِيَارَكُمْ، وَأَغْنِيَاؤُكُمْ سُمَحَاءَكُمْ، وَأُمُورُكُمْ شُورَى بَيْنَكُمْ فَظَهْرُ الأَرْضِ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ مِنْ بَطْنِهَا، وَإِذَا كَانَ أُمَرَاؤُكُمْ شِرَارَكُمْ وَأَغْنِيَاؤُكُمْ بُخَلاَءَكُمْ، وَأُمُورُكُمْ إِلَى نِسَائِكُمْ فَبَطْنُ الأَرْضِ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ مِنْ ظَهْرِهَا.
Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu 'anhu) narrates: "When your leaders are the best of you, the richest are the most generous among you, and your affairs are consulted among you, then the surface of the earth is better for you than its belly. And when your leaders are the worst of you, the richest are the stingiest among you, and your affairs are referred to your women, then the belly of the earth is better for you than its surface."[4]
Similar to the first hadīth, the authenticity of this hadīth may be questionable[5], but the overall meaning is supported by various other ahādīth[6].
In order to fully understand the meanings of these ahādīth, it is important for one to understand the temperament of Sharī'ah.
Allah Ta'ālā has created both men and women on this earth to fulfill the purpose of their creation and strive to achieve His pleasure by living their lives out the way He has ordained for us. In any society, different people are given different roles to fulfill as a member of that society, eg., a mayor, a doctor, a police officer, etc. While men and women have been assigned the same ultimate goal in life, they have also been given different roles to fulfill in the society due to inherent differences that exist among them. In this context, each man and woman is given certain roles in society according to each of their intrinsic differences. Similarly, the injunctions of Islam as decreed by Allah the Almighty himself are designed to be selective in regards to the specific preferences resulting from these gender differences.
The following hādīth clearly emphasizes the need to keep such differences in mind and censure those who neglect them:
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا قَالَ: «لَعَنَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ المُتَشَبِّهِينَ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ بِالنِّسَاءِ، وَالمُتَشَبِّهَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ بِالرِّجَالِ»
Ibn `Abbas (radiyallahu 'anhu) narrates: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) cursed those men who attempt to imitate women and those women who attempt to imitate men.[7]
As such, Shari'ah has divided the roles of men and women in all aspects of life whether it is related to acts of worship, the structure of a family, or socio-political affairs. Such a division is not a discussion of rights and privileges, rather it is a discussion of responsibilities and roles given to each individually. There are numerous examples where women have been given preference over men as well due to their status in the eyes of Allah Ta'ālā such as the lofty status given to women as a mother and a wife.
After one can understand the nature of Shari'ah, one can conclude that Shari'ah has also assigned different roles for men and women in administrative issues as well. In this context, Shari'ah has assigned to men the responsibility of running a state and protecting all those who are under him by managing their affairs and looking out for their wellbeing. One may also say that due to Allah's mercy upon women, He took such a burden off of their shoulders knowing that they are more pure and gentle in nature as opposed to men who are inherently known to have more assertive and forceful qualities. Similarly, the ahādīth above state that the running of a state is best suited in the hands of men, rather than women due to their inherent differences. To understand more simply, one should ask oneself, if such differences did not exist, then what would it mean to be masculine or feminine?
It is important to take note that such ahādīth do not mean that one should not take advice from women in any matter as the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) himself took advice from his wives in many matters such as the advice of Umm Salamah (radiyallahu 'anha) after signing the treaty of Hudaybiyah[8] or the counsel of Khadījah (radiyallahu 'anha) after receiving revelation for the first time[9]. The purpose of these ahādīth is to point out that men are to carry out such roles as they were created by Allah the Almighty for such responsibilities. On the other hand, if men were to take up roles specific to women then it will also lead to deterioration in society as is clear from the hadīth mentioned above regarding the prohibition of  imitating women.
For more information regarding this topic, one may refer to the following article by Maulana Mohammad Karolia: Female Leadership in Islam
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Bilal Mohammad
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net