Question Summary:
Marrying a revert

Question Detail:

I am a Pakistani American Female.  I want to marry a white convert.  He is divorced with two kids.  My parents will not agree for various reasons, but mainly because he has two kids and is not Pakistani.  I still want to marry him, but do not know what to do.  I am --- years old and am ready to settle down.  I have tried to get married via the arranged route, but that has not worked well for me.  I love my parents dearly, but I believe I am making a decision that is good for my Akhirah as this man will bring me closer to my deen.  He is poor and in terms of dunya he is not ideal, but I am comfortable with that as Allah provides and I believe Allah will provide for me.  I cannot do a nikkah without my father, but also cannot convince him.  Please let me know what the best thing for me to do is in terms of Islam.

Answer :

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
At the outset, one should understand that marriage is a lifetime institution. It is a special bond between a husband and wife based on love, harmony and unity. Having the consent and happiness of parents in choosing a spouse will add more happiness and prosperity in one’s marriage. The counsel of parents is always desirable as they keep the welfare of their children in mind. Your parents have your interest in heart, they wish to see you live a blissful married life.
Your desire to marry the person mentioned in query comes with its challenges. Marrying someone with a diverse background and cultural differences often leads to an imbalance in a marriage, thus, creating problems to come about in the marriage. If one decides to marry out of one’s culture, he or she should ensure that the cultural differences will not hamper the spirit of the marriage being peace and harmony.
Furthermore, marrying someone with children comes with its own implications as well. While he may love you and vice-versa, it is possible that you may not take well to his children. As such, he will be torn between you and his children.
Nevertheless, if you feel that this person is most suitable for you to marry, then you may express your feelings to an elderly reputable person who may enjoy some influence over your parents. However, do keep in mind that the guiding factor in making this decision for you and your parents should be istikharah and dua.
In any event, exercise sabr (patience), turn towards Allah Ta’ala and seek His guidance.  
 
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
U.S.A
Checked and Approved by,                                                                                    Mufti Ebrahim Desai                                                                                                                                       
www.Daruliftaa.net